Posted by:
exminion
(
)
Date: May 18, 2019 06:24PM
I never took a temple preparation class. I expected what I was told to expect:
I expected to learn something new! I was excited to know more about God and His secrets. I had no idea that the new "knowledge" would be secret handshakes, "signs and tokens" and a secret new name that only my husband would know (and I would never know my husband's new name.)
After getting over the shock of the silly costumes, and seeing people I thought were intelligent and sensible (like my parents) dressed up like "dead people", I listened intently to the words of wisdom. I thought, "What? This is quotes from Genesis! Now it's Isaiah!" I had these words memorized, I knew them so well. It was nothing but the same-old-same-old, to me. It was just more drawn out and repetitious, with the "I will go down's".
I would have many of my questions answered. I realized that this "You will learn all these things in the temple, when you are ready" was just another dodge, like, "All will be answered in the next life."
I expected to feel the Spirit. The only spirit I felt was that of Evil--honestly--like Satan was behind all this. For me, it was beyond weird.
I was not expecting to be naked, under a "shield", which made doctor's office gowns seem modest, in comparison. My doctors were professionals, but these creepy, whispering, scowling women came across as pervy. How dare they invade my privacy, and touch me! I could hear other women on either side of me, behind the sheets, being incanted over, while it was being done to me. It was too personal, yet, too impersonal and institutionalized. I did not expect it to be all so physical. It was all about the body, with the undressing and dressing and switching of robes and sashes, etc. All about physical polygamy in heaven--oh, I thought of that constantly in the temple--and sex and obeying your husband.
I expected that I would sit next to my fiancee. The separation of male and female came as a shock.
I expected the temple clothes to look more normal, like a man's white suit, and a woman's long sleeved white dress.
I didn't know about the ridiculous headdresses, or having my face covered by a heavy, suffocating veil.
I expected--as any sane person would--the marriage ceremony to be about love, cherishing, being faithful to each other. Instead, we both made vows to the cult. I did not now that the "New and Everlasting Covenant" was polygamy!
I expected my new husband to love me, and care about me. I did not expect the Mormon wedding vows and the Mormon scriptures (D & C 132) to support the idea that I was my husband's possession, and that he had permission to beat me at will, or do anything he wanted to do to me. He proceeded to rape me that afternoon, between the temple ritual and the reception.
My list is going over onto the subject of what I did NOT expect--WHAT I DID NOT KNOW.
I did expect to reach the Celestial Room in a spiritual, enlightened state, and to sit and quietly discuss all the newly-learned wonders with my family. Ha-ha-Ha-ha-ha!!