Not trying to be mean but I watched a video tour of the Rome temple. Susan Bednar gives a testimony of the bride's room and looks like she's sadder than sad. I don't think she is sad. I think she just needs a little eyelid lift or eyebrow lift. Something like that might make her look a bit happier. Maybe they could use a stand-in sister with a bit less "hang dog" look to her. Too bad they can't use an actor to play the part of Dave's wife. An actor to play Dave wouldn't be a bad idea either. Neither one gives a convincing sales pitch to the idea that they have a happy marriage even if they do.
And she hasn't received a salary increase for years, but her agent and lawyer tells her that there's nothing she can do and the non-disclosure agreement that she signed is still unbreakable (plus she's had "the talk" with LDS Security reps who kindly explained to her about all of the unfortunate accidents that other secret lifetime actors have had over the years when they decided they wanted to stop doing the job).
Her husband puts her down and says she's now a sweet spirit and that she used to be pretty. His eyes throw daggers at her for foolishly forgetting to remain seated until he rises first from his throne. I feel bad for her because she knows she is stuck; there is no way out for her; she cannot make the Bednar look bad.
Because, temple marriage. She is stuck with that thing for eternity. I'm surprised she is just looking sad and not sobbing outright.
She is clearly not cut out for the mess she is in and doesn't have the strength to get out with everyone telling her constantly how lucky she is to be married to the one person who is ruining her life.
You don't see that Wendy looking sad. She got exactly what she wants and loves playing the game. Russ knows not to stand before she does.
I knew Susan awhile back and she was not happy when David took the job at Ricks College. She liked their life, the weather, the pay, and benefits they had at his university job in Arkansas. She felt it was a come down going to Rexburg. It was.
While I was helping Susan in their home once, David stayed in his office all day only coming out to grab food or make a comment or two. He didn't lift a finger to help her with the heavy lifting. This felt weird to me because when my mother was doing something intense or difficult in the kitchen my dad would come in and pitch in to help her and make things easier if he could. Sometimes he would just sit in the kitchen and talk to her to keep her company if he couldn't otherwise help. My dad always told us he had "married up" and that we were lucky to have her. I think Dave thinks he was/is a catch and that Susan was lucky to get him.
One time Dave came into the kitchen and made a snarky comment about how "right" it looked seeing me working in the kitchen with Susan. My career is as a professional. He obviously thinks women belong in the kitchen and not in the office. I never much cared for him after that.
He's off doing his "adore me, give me adulation, respect me, obey me" schtick as a big shot.
She and he have nothing in common, no common interests, no occasion or opportunity to spend any kind of quality time together.
The only things that bring them together:
(1) His job as a "spiritual leader" and religious "authority" requires him to set a good example by being "happily married". It is therefore essential for her to be by his side on special occasions playing the role of his "for time and all eternity" wife.
(2) Her status, her children's status, her financial well-being and their financial well being...depend on Bedknob continuing to be successful in his career as a lifetime leader guy in the church. A public separation (or worse) could really jeopardize his upward mobility and influence (even though he technically can't be fired from his Apostle gig at this point). So she's willing to play along, as long as it's just a few days out of each month. Most of the time, she's probably happy to have him out on the road and out of the home when he's doing unaccompanied tours.
I've met two of their three sons. I think they are all nice guys and close to their mother. They don't act anything like their dad although they seem to show him the respect he demands. I feel sorry that the youngest teaches at BYU. He'd have a hard time leaving now.
Pooped Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I feel > sorry that the youngest teaches at BYU. He'd have > a hard time leaving now.
Well, if he plays his cards right and keeps on the good side of his dad, he'll probably be the president of BYU or BYU-I someday (just as Eyring's boy is currently the president of BYU-I).
The Q12 guys like to keep as many prestigious, paying positions as possible "in the family". Hinckley's boy was able to get parachuted into a paying GA position just before his dad kicked the bucket. I'm sure that it ensured a comfy retirement for Hinckley's son, who indeed retired (went "emeritus" in Mormon parlance) just a short time after being turned into a GA.
The one photo that is shared on the lds mag website. She looks very happy standing next to her sons in a pretty meadow. It looks like they are having a good time smiling in front of the camera. Then there's the dad. He looks pissed off beyond belief; probably annoyed that the family begged him to stop to take a picture in a scenic location.
Wanted to see the possible future president of the SCC so made an effort to go listen to Bednar a couple months ago giving an audience in Atlantic Canada,
Our seats were a couple rows from the front so we got a real good look at the whole thing. Bednar didn't come off as a real warm fuzzy type of guy.This night he was down right intimating (even more intimating than his bodyguard a couple seats down) and was a little pissed at something and looked like he was going to blow a gasket at any moment. He must be a real treat to work with at headquarters. But maybe he was just having a bad hair day.
His wife introduced him (as if he needs any) and told the crowd "what a real treat we are in for tonight as we are in the the presence of an apostle of the Lord. Gotta love the intro.
Then what felt more like a press conference than a talk began. No ground breaking insights.Felt like an educator lecturing the class with a Q&A format for most of what was suppose to be a talk. Came off cold and aloof. Kinda like get me out of here and onto the plane home. Seemed like a real jerk to some of the people asking simple routine questions, Maybe he should work on his humility because the minions don't look like there buying what he's selling.
Then after the Q&A everyone was told to stay seated and do not approach him as he talks to nobody afterwards, As I watched him leave he didn't talk to anyone except his handlers I hoped they enjoyed the lobster sandwiches on the plane back,
"everyone was told to stay seated and do not approach him as he talks to nobody afterwards,"
Davey is the personification of pretentious. But he's not alone.
It was years back that the GA's began refusing to speak, touch, or mingle with the subordinate members. Maybe if they pressed a little more flesh the members could relate to them as human rather than stone cold horse's backsides. But if you talk with the people you have to answer those pesky spiritual, historical questions that must not be spoken of (because they have no acceptable answers). The more aloof, the more respectable and godly they can pretend to be.
"everyone was told to stay seated and do not approach him as he talks to nobody afterwards,"
This has been the standard for years. I think the first time I became aware of garbage like this was while serving a mission. A whole lists of do's and don'ts. I think it has gotten worse over time. I wish more members would take notice and withhold giving their time and money to churchco.
There could be a lot of reasons for this. One thing I noticed is that she seems to be shy and soft-spoken, but she is put out there to do talks all the time. I don't think she is comfortable up there.
Second, I do believe she is oppressed. If its internal or external or both, she knows her place and always is measuring her actions as appropriate or inappropriate to her station. ie, beneath her husband. A good example of this is when she started to stand up before elder Bednar and had to quickly sit back down and wait for him.( internal oppression). Another good example is an interview where Elder Bednar is talking about how Sister Bednar used to be pretty, but she's not now.... but that's okay cause she's nice.
I'd be nervous and on the verge of crying if I had her life.
She was very pretty in her younger days, and I think she still looks very nice for a middle-aged woman. Yes, like many older people, it looks to me as if she could use an eyelid lift. It would perk up her appearance considerably. Insurance will pay for it if the droopy eyelid starts to interfere with one's vision. I don't think she's at that point yet, but surely her husband could afford it if that's what she wants. However, she may be the type of person who does not care for unneeded plastic surgery or cosmetic procedures.
As for her marriage and her life, who knows. She may have wished for a quieter lifestyle out of the limelight. She may have wished to enjoy a serene retirement with her husband. Such is not to be. The Mormon church is demanding like that.
I think I said this once before on another thread, but to stay looking young the best thing to do is exercise and get in shape, eat healthy, avoid sugar, drink lots of water, look after your hair and skin, dress in a way that is flattering to you. Do all that and you won’t need cosmetic surgery.
I see a lot of mormon middle aged women who forego these basic things, then slap on some lipstick and expensive clothes. And of course they are probably unhappy too, which doesn’t help. They also seem to avoid being sexy, which makes sense. But look at someone like Jennifer Lopez who looks amazing for a fifty something year old, and compare.
Is it wrong to put that much effort into maintaining your looks? IMO, no. And given that most of these GA wives don’t work, they have the time and money. But it will never happen. It’s seen as selfish in the mormon world.
Mormon women are not allowed to take the time to invest in themselves. Then to add insult to injury a husband then says “she used to be pretty”.
Mormon women taking good care of themselves is seen as a bad thing. If Susan Bednar grew her hair, lifted some weights, did yoga, wore flattering make up, and used good skincare products, and wore fashionable clothes, went for a massage, and divorced her leech of a husband, she’d probably look freakin’ amazing. Just as anyone would.
Of course beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it’s all subjective anyway. But could you ever imagine this for a GA wife? No. They don’t seem to have the choice, or maybe they think it’s wrong...
Genes also play an important role. My family has been blessed by Mother Nature with great genes, particularly in the skin department. My mother is sitting in a nursing home without a single wrinkle. Yes, she's white haired, frail, and weak BUT she hasn't a wrinkle on her. People never believe her when she says she is in her mid-90's because of her skin.
It's true she did not smoke, which I believe plays a big role. However, Mom wasn't big on working out, but did eat pretty healthy, mostly fresh, foods. Living in the Midwest, she ate plenty of red meat and butter. That hasn't seemed to have hurt her. She has a very healthy heart. She hardly ever drank anything alcoholic but did taste a little sherry now and then. She drank coffee but only about one cup a day as she still does. She didn't over do the sugar but we always had desserts at supper time. There was not much soda pop in our home except the occasional root beer float. Mom just naturally did all things in moderation even before Mormonism entered her life at age 43.
Maybe Susan B. just has droopy eye genes in her family made worse by tactless husband comments and undesirable retirement lifestyle.