I've been asked why I contribute to this forum. My partner (never Mo) calls it, "That Mormon Forum" derisively.
Like I tell her,"I go there to articulate a more tennable existential foothold, which is all I am really after."

If people, whose opinions I respect, don't like it, then I know I am not on the right track. I value that, especially the new information I didnt realize existed.
If people object, I listen to their objections and compare them to the evidence.
It's a public forum, of like minded people, who share similar experiences, having been Mormon and escaped the abusive, mind controlling racist cult. That's a lot of delusion to overcome and few really manage to survive the process with their relationships and social life in tact.
I didn't.
I need to figure out how to get better at making relationships with real people on my community.
Instead of this community.
Seems my time is up,
After too many years of "recovering"
Time for me to move on.
Catch you on the other side.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/10/2020 08:53PM by schrodingerscat.

Farewell...


See you next week.

"Like I tell her..."

I thought you were married to a man.

I am here to collect data.
I am a never mo and an atheist. I find religion fascinating among other subjects.
Talking to ex members is a good way to learn as to what the arguments are, what the problems are, links to various websites. All that stuff, goes into my files.

I am here to listen, learn, analyze and provide feedback.
Besides, that's what the internet is for.

Thank you #2475689367.

~~~~iceman9090

‘Cause I love you guys. The whole bunch o’ ya.

Thanks for all the fish.

Mormonism is one of my hobbies.

Bye.

I've really enjoyed your posts. I can dig what you just posted here.

I don't know what "the other side" is. An alternative universe? :)

You've clearly got a mind that's working things over with a lot of energy imo. I dig it.

Hope to hear more from you but if not, I wish you the very best in finding a more tennable existential foothold.

Carry on and return if you have some more good thoughts or questions to pose!

Thank you



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/10/2020 10:24PM by thingsithink.

Growing up in a TBM family is like doing hard time. When the warden tells you it’s time to go, there’s not much you can do.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/11/2020 06:06PM by bradley.

If schrodingerscat is aligned with The Evergreen State College in any manner, anything is possible.

I post here so people terrified of leaving Mormonism can look at us and think "this must be survivable. Hell, they all did it."

Everything else is gravy.

Say hello for us to Albert or Neil, whichever one you meet first.

I think this question might be rhetorical or a declaration or some such.

Anyway, I post here because I considered taking the discussions due to being hopped up on goofballs while I watched "The Mormons." (Long story.)

Went to the lds website, and there was no there there. Went to the PBS website for the program, read interviews, and there was a list of websites about leaving TSCC. This was one of them.

I lurked for about a week, and then I started asking questions. I also asked for an organizational chart because there are more layers of mormon bureaucracy than probably any government on Earth.

I hung around. I met nice people. I realized that my experiences with fundamentalist xtianity groups were similar to some of the things I was reading on this board. Sunday School and church - 9 am - 3 pm. Wednesday - prayer meeting from 7 pm - usually 11 pm after people got tired of rolling down the aisles. Friday evening 7 pm - 11ish Bible Study. Saturday afternoon - trip to the Youth Study Center. I never felt the Holy Spirit or whatever. People would be jumping around, and I just wanted to leave.

My grades started slipping. I didn't have time to do homework. I was exhausted. I was BORED OUT OF MY SKULL. I wondered why this one girl was always rolling around on the floor getting happy, but her drawers were showing. Too freaking weird.

You all are courageous. That's probably the main reason I'm here. You've given me courage. You've helped me heal. What's not to love?



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 06/11/2020 12:54AM by Beth.

Interesting. First person I’ve heard that lost their faith because somebody’s underwear were showing. Maybe you made some unconscious connection between that and the mandatory Mormon undergarments.

Anyways, you made me laugh ...

THANK GOD(s).

But I would sit there an think, "I don't think this is of God."

One of many things that made we wonder WTF was going on around me. It was so strange and unconvincing and I thought something was wrong with *me* because I never felt moved by the spirit to do anything but sit there BORED AS HELL. When I fell asleep, I'd get an elbow in the side. (Thanks, Mom!) She never got happy, either. But she would sit there and silently weep. She was looking for something to ease her pain. She was in a lot of pain. I recognized that, and I tried to go along. I think she thought that the crap things that have happened in her life, and there have been *a lot* of crap things that no one should have to shoulder, I think she thinks they are due to some fault of her own. She had stopped going to church and was an activist for social justice and was pro-choice. She married an atheist (my father). They divorced when I was seven. Backsliding. She thought these things had happened because she was backsliding. So, BOOM - total 180º.

She seems happier now. She's given up searching for a "church home," and has decided to worship in her own way. When she starts testifying to me, I listen *unless* she tells me how belief in god would improve *my* life. That's when I say, "Mom - I love you. Let's talk later about something else."

There is a whole *world* full of things to talk about besides religion. I think she's getting that.

But yeah, I can't unsee that girl's panties. ::shudder:: She should have worn a longer skirt.

Oh, an aside: Do you know about Father Divine? There's a crazy documentary about him. It's good! http://www.fatherskingdommovie.com

Anyway, I had a "Father Divine skirt." They had a restaurant in University City, and the food was soooooo good and inexpensive. They had a dress code, so Mom bought us Father Divine skirts. "Beth, wanna go to Father Divine's for dinner? Okay - put on that skirt."

I'll check out that link . . .

I represent the nevermos who marry exmos... as well as those who deal with extreme parental alienation.

I also genuinely enjoy exmos.

I come to this forum because I enjoy reading what people have to say, there is a leftist slant by many on the board that I find educating since I'm far right. A lot of folks think way different from me. This forum also gives me an opportunity to practice writing coherent responses to intellectual prompts. So I get to engage my mind in a in a mind exercise.

Mormonism has caused me lots of heartache, I was involved for the first 34 years of my life before I threw in the towel and walked away, folks on the board have helped me through some rough spots. And continue to help.

I do especially like all of schrodingerscats posts. So I hope you post more :)

+macaRomney:
"I'm far right"

==What exactly is far right?

~~~~iceman9090

The right are the ones who are always right no matter the facts present.

The left are the ones who left the stable center and headed in the opposite direction of the right no matter what that direction is.

Yin and Yang. Make a beautiful symbol and inspire thought. Right and left do not.

Right and left legs work well together. Story ends there for the odd couple.

Unfortunately that doesn't automatically make the Happy Medium an ideal.



PS I'm here because being understood is one of life's greatest gifts.

1 - My interest and background in Mormonism. I know it, and have experienced it.

2 - To prove there are other points of view. Like Sunday School or a Missionary Discussion, there is a tendency for some people to think theirs is the only valid POV.

If you want to contribute here, then stop trying to hide your identity. Please use a consistent username and follow the board rules. Otherwise, everything you write will be removed.

Perhaps it will warm your heart to write your responses and cast them into the ether, but will you get as much satisfaction if no one reads them?

CZ (admin)

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/11/2020 12:48PM by Beth.

You discredit your point of view. There are others on the right far more capable of formulating a logical and factually-based argument.

I use this board for recovery.

When Mormon (and young), I felt obligated to hold my tongue, conform to norms, ingratiate myself with the right groups and shun the wrong groups, etc. It mattered who greeted you when entering your Ward building, who you sat with, whose house you went to afterwards etc. All this mattered because it mattered whose birthday parties your kids went to, etc. And etc.

(Work is the same, of course. You must hold your tongue and conform to social norms etc, cultivate relationships etc.)

I use RfM to counter this propensity. I care not a wit whether I’m liked or not, accepted or not, respected or not. It doesn’t matter, and in that not mattering I find recovery from the oppressive social atmosphere of LDSinc. Here there is no one to please and no one I need anything from.

I’m lucky in that my IRL provides far more of a social life than I’d like and I have a thick skin, so I can afford, so to speak, to use RfM in this way.

It’s refreshing. I guess, essentially, I use RfM to practice the art of Not Giving A F***. It works!

Human

For Human :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3wKzyIN1yk

Ha! :^)

Every time RfM’s Better Judgement chose to nix one of my posts, that was my refrain:

“I’m only human/Don't put your blame on me”

I enjoy the community, and I like helping people who are interested in extricating themselves from the Mormon church in whatever fashion works best for for them. As a nevermo, I can lend those people an outside perspective, and help to assure them that they can live a normal, productive, and happy life outside of the church.

A distant cousin--only other exmo in the family--told me about this place--did them a lot of good. I came here believing I was fully recovered as I never thought much about the Mormon Church once I realized the lie while at BYU. The weight was lifted and I hit the ground running far from Mormon Mecca. Great life it has been!

I came to RFM thinking the idea of needing recovery was absurd.

What I soon realized was that I hadn't recovered at all or knew I needed to. The weight hadn't been lifted, but stuffed down, ignored. Mega-tons of pain surfaced finally after forty years that I didn't even know I had buried all the way to China.

I got to sort it all out in a safe place. I arrogantly like to believe I can help somebody else do that. And the whole subject still fascinates as it had more impact on my life than anything else. I was raised in the TBM family that was even too TBM for the other staunch Mormons around.

Schrodie,

You posted a thread once about your mom and your grannie. That was wonderful. I wanted to hear more about you and your family personally--things you've done, places you've lived.

I really hate to see you go.

Because I'm addicted to reliving my past trauma. My body not only keeps score but "likes" to be stimulated reliving past abuses.

It is sad. But it is my life.

And RfM is a razor's edge for me. It has helped me immensely in recovering from Mormonism. The hold the religious indoctrination had on me during my earliest days here was profound. I cherished things in The Book of Mormon. I still thought some things Mormon prophets had said were profound and I believed if it weren't for their racism, sexism, sexual predator founder and his religious freedom abusing successor (who is my ancestor) it would be an okay belief structure to raise my own children in.

Boy was I wrong and I am eternally grateful to Eric, Concrete Zipper, Susan I/S, Tevia, and all the others who have continued to provide me with this forum.

RfM and posting to it, has helped me vent when the Mormon aspects of my life seem so overwhelming. We just shipped our youngest back out to a mission field yesterday. And at these times I need to read and write about Mormonism. My problem is determining when I'm helping myself and when I'm just triggering myself. And the OP is definitely one to read for my self triggering.

So in a nutshell, SC, there is a darker side to contributing to this forum for me. I can't say I do it altruistically. I'm not trying to save missionaries and returning and reporting. I can't say I've even helped anyone here. All I can say is sometimes contributing here helps me get through tough days like today and other times it is just picking at my scabs and cutting myself mentally.

I've been here since the beginning, though I did take a long break.

I am here for the companionship of people who have gone through what I have gone through, and to perhaps help others on their way out.

Goodbye SC, hopefully, we will see you again.

I contributed more in the past when one of my girls converted and married a Mormon. Now I follow all the stories because they are funny, fascinating and educational.My great grandkids are on their own, although two of my grandchildren are non members.I keep hoping that the shelf will collapse for the two grand kids that are True Believers, but family ties are too strong for them to break free.In the meantime I never bring up religion with them.

I don't remember when I first posted here, but it would have been sometime before 2004 when I left the Church.

I often go long stretches without posting, and then something happens. This time, it's being home for the pandemic. Last time, it was dealing with my father's death. I've juggled a lot in my life, and I've cut ties with a lot of things that were annoying me.

I don't really much think I need recovery per se anymore, but I like the posters here.

Tyson



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/11/2020 02:51PM by Tyson Dunn.

Tyson, our experiences are similar.

When I first found this group, I was angry and disillusioned at Mormonism. I bought the whole package deal, hook, line and sinker, because I was at a very vulnerable place in my life. As I healed, I began to realize that Mormonism wasn't entirely what it was presented to be.

I am long since recovered from Mormonism. I just hang around here because I am very fond of the community.

I come here as a never-mo with a life-long interest in religion and religious experiences. I am in awe of all of you who have broken from a religious structure/philosophy that is so encompassing as Mormonism. It takes enormous courage to ask oneself "what if everything I believe is true, is actually false?" and then face, and embrace, the answers that arise.
I was once pretty deeply involved with the teachings, and community of followers, of an Indian guru. I was also, for several years, involved as a student and teacher in the Waldorf Education/Anthroposophical world. I have left both, but it was difficult to let go and find new and more independent paths for my thinking and spirituality. I'm still struggling with that. This forum has been a great help in reminding me that, although both the guru's teachings, and Waldorf/Anthroposophy provided many gifts and inspirations in my life, I also outgrew them and no longer want them to control my mind and heart the way they did before. Hearing all of your recovery from Mormonism stories helps me with this in a number of ways, and I am very grateful to all of you. I continue to read, and contribute a post occasionally, because I love, admire and appreciate this online community so much.
Farewell, SC. I wish you all the best.

I contribute to this forum because it is one of the very few where true feelings are expresssed.
I definitely do not agree with what everyone says but I would defend unto the death your right to say it.
there are very few places in the world where this is true.
There is always a certain amount of agresiveness present but we are resolving huge issues in our lives.
Let us all keep contributing here to help one another recover

This is very true DesertRat.

In a world full of outrage and hate carefully curated by censorship, this is one of the last few vestibules to true human emotion.

I found RFM as I was dealing with an old HP who persisted in pestering me after my father died. He pushed too far and after finding out from here that I could resign my membership I did and he stopped. I have made some friends here also. People I care about.

Is lollygagging the same as "contributing"?

I read/contribute because posters on this forum "get it." Most people I know are never-mos or TBMs. I don't know many like me who left LDS Inc. Never-mos don't get what it was like to be Mormon and TBMs can no longer relate to me because I let go of the iron rod. It's kind of lonely. Most posters here understand.

Justifying his reading of poetry...

"For some measure of light."

At least that's what I remember him quoted. I could be wrong; my offerings to the Google god came up empty...

schrodingerscat Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Seems my time is up, > After too many years of "recovering"
> Time for me to move on. > Catch you on the other side.

We'll believe it when the time is up. This will provide some air for more rational posters on here.

Go. . . live happy and thrive.

Rationality worshipped by extreme emotions is a very slow awkward dance of the soul everyone likes to watch.