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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 12:04AM

I laughed.

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 12:05AM

YES!

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Posted by: ziller ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 05:56PM

the fly's performance ~



earned it a solid 1st place ~



who were the others ? ~

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 12:06AM

I was like, "That's HUGE"

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 12:08AM

Black flies matter

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 12:10AM

It' looked like it was stuck onto his head like a misplaced muppet nose.

ETA: I don't think the black flies matter thing is okay. IOW, I like you, but if you were someone else I'd be up in arms, so I'm kind of not happy with you and what you wrote, Dave.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/08/2020 02:05AM by Beth.

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 02:48AM

It was a perfectly good non-racist pun. Don't wreck it.

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Posted by: ufotofu ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 05:32AM

I found it funny...
So I left it that way.

Besides, it's something I might have said myself (if I'd posted earlier).

Get it?

Black Flag
(The brand)
Kills flys
[That's what matters]

It's a laughing matter. If you don't laugh, it doesn't matter.

Now if it was a Red faced, Blue tailed fly, on a White background, what would happen?

Shoe Fly Shoe shoe

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 03:20PM

Naw. I'm being a hypocrite. I'll wear my hairshirt later. Carry on.

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 12:12AM

And I kept thinking, "No. That's not an artifact from the lights, and his hair is parted on the left side of his head and that GIGANTIC thing is on the right side. And it's still there. And it's STILL THERE. Wow. It's still there." And then it wasn't.

How long do you think it was there? Close to five minutes?

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 12:13AM

Two minutes

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 12:14AM

That was 1:55 minutes too long. I wonder what Kamala was thinking. You know she saw that thing. I hope someone asks her.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/08/2020 01:25AM by Beth.

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 12:14AM

YOU CAN'T UNSEE IT

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 12:13AM

Thank you U of U for unleashing that bigass fly!

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 12:15AM

It was like a hairy mole growing out of his, well, hair.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 11:55AM


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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 12:18AM

You have two minutes, uninterrupted.

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 12:19AM

I'm pretty sure I could hear that fly saying "help me" !

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Posted by: Concrete Zipper ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 05:22PM


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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 12:21AM

Pretty fly for a white guy.

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 12:31AM

winner winner chicken dinner!

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 12:39AM


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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 12:41AM

Pence without his makeup?

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 12:42AM

ho ho ho!

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 12:42AM

I remember when Jeff Goldblum was sexy.

http://derekwinnert.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/126.jpg

And I don't remember calling anyone or anything sexy before.

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 12:44AM

Hell. He even looks sexy with a mullet while holding a goddamn baboon.

https://static1.srcdn.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/Jeff-Goldblum-The-Fly-With-Monkey.jpg

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 12:46AM

I like my vice presidents to not have a bug on their head.

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 12:48AM

Well, too bad, because he is our vice president and he had a big ass fly on his head.

A really, really big fly.

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 12:49AM

www.flywillvote.com

ugh

http://flywillvote.com



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/08/2020 12:51AM by Beth.

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 12:57AM

Beezlebub!

BREAKING: The fly that landed on Mike Pence’s head has tested positive for coronavirus

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 01:03AM

Let's take away its health care !

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 01:06AM

The fly's twitter account has over 70,000 followers now.


https://twitter.com/MikePenceFly___

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 01:10AM

HAHAHAHA! <-- like out loud. For real.

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 01:18AM

Up to 81K

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 01:18AM

I'm waiting for the fail whale

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 02:20AM


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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 01:11AM

#flygate

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 01:13AM


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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 01:16AM

The. Best.

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 01:17AM


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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 01:19AM

I'm crying. OMGOMG HA OMG

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 01:21AM


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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 01:23AM

I love cats.

K - I have to go to bed. Keep up the good work!

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 01:24AM


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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 01:38AM

The joking would have been even more vicious had he tried to swat it or shoo it away.

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 01:41AM

I think he should have smashed it really hard with his fist.

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 02:00AM

You never kill a fly that way. Everybody knows that. Well, almost everybody.

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 09:09AM

Whoosh

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Posted by: Roy G Biv ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 10:37AM

Here's the correct way to kill a fly with your hands. When the fly lands, position your hands with one on each side of the fly, about 10" apart. Quickly clap your hands together. When the fly feels the air pressure as your hands come together it rises up to get away and CLAP!.....the fly is dead.

I learned that as a young fella in Palm Springs when flies would bother us sunbathing by the pool. It really does work.

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Posted by: ufotofu ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 11:43AM

That's how you Kill a fly, true. And if you clap - and miss (the fly) - no one sees why and they think it's goofy or funny, and your hands hurt!, AND you have blood in your hands. Not exactly convenient, or comfortable, or smooth.

But what if you don't want to kill it? Is there a better way to get rid of it?

Indeed, if continue to read, you will quickly learn the best, and quickest, way to both get rid of the nuisance and avoid any inconvenience, embarrassment, soreness, and blood.

Gross. Ouch!

Try this on for size: chart the fly's emergency exit route as your hand would fly above it at many times it's speed. Picking your timing... SWOOP above the fly, and as it takes off, CATCH IT!

You'll be amazed that you'll catch most flys/ bugs - rather than swatting them (with your hand? Ewww) - and then throw them (outdoors, against the wall, or even into oblivion) away.

I'd preferred Catch 'n' Toss than Swat & Swear.

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 01:18PM

Roy G Biv Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> When the fly lands, position your hands
> with one on each side of the fly, about 10" apart.
> Quickly clap your hands together. When the fly
> feels the air pressure as your hands come together
> it rises up to get away and CLAP!.....the fly is
> dead.

Right-O. Now try that on a fly on your head.

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Posted by: ufotofu ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 05:34AM

Would you have left it there?

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Posted by: anon 4 this joke ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 01:51AM

So that's what all the buzz is about.

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Posted by: ufotofu ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 02:00AM

Stuck while eating gummy hairspray? Laying eggs? Crapping? Napping? Getting it's wings?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/08/2020 05:36AM by ufotofu.

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Posted by: ufotofu ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 02:03AM

Oops, wrong wall.

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 02:11AM

Flies are attracted to ... What?

tell me Once More.

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Posted by: ufotofu ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 02:22AM

Dave the Atheist Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I laughed.


You're probably still laughing.

Millions are.

In all seriousness. I only heard the "buzz" as I listened on the radio. Then, when I saw it, was quite amazed.

Talk about an unplanned, unsightly, embarrassing, even sticky situation. Maybe something in his ear finally whispered "Hey Man, There's A Fly In Your Toupee".

You have to wonder, when a fly picks a certain head to land on (what they see before landing there), how they choose THAT head of hair... And why, besides canisters of spray hold, they didn't feel it.

I might have reflexively swatted it... But I really really feel my hair, while it's there. I think that's fair

I call it a NO Fly zone. I don't think they can read though. I know flies. Well, they know me.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/08/2020 05:21AM by ufotofu.

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Posted by: Roy G Biv ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 10:40AM

The fly was a tiny bot that was remote controlled by Trump. It was supposed to land on his ear and tell him what to say, but Trump couldn't handle the remote so it sort of crashed on his head, to far away from his ear so he couldn't hear it.

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Posted by: anon 4 this joke too ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 03:28PM

You mean like a sacrifice fly?

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Posted by: ookami ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 03:23PM

Remember "Lord of the Dance?" Maybe he'll get a public access show: "Lord of the Flies!"

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 03:26PM

Lord of the Dance! My stepmother had that on BETAMAX! Okay, maybe they'd given up on the Betamax and had bought a VCR at that point. Still. We watched that thing waaaay too many times.

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 04:38PM

The fly's twitter account is now up to 115,000 followers.

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 05:40PM


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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 05:42PM

You think she lost?

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 05:53PM

How many times did you call her a monster ?

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Posted by: laughing at caffiend ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 06:01PM

bad bot

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: October 08, 2020 06:03PM

Yeah, I'd be happy to discuss the debate if caffiend or anyone else wants to.

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