Gordon B. Stinky
Date: September 26, 2021 12:38PM
Phantom Shadow Wrote:
> I want to offer words of comfort, but I cannot say
> how I feel.
When my wife passed away 4 years ago, the wisest, most profound thing that anyone said to me was, "I know there's nothing I can say or do that will change anything, but just know I'm here for you if you need me."
I'm sorry for your losses, Phantom Shadow (and everyone else too).
When I was in my twenties, my brothers and I had to decide to discontinue treatment on our mom, and let her go. She'd been ravaged by cancer. Still, it's not an easy situation, or decision.
When my mom passed, she was only 50. Everyone said, "she's so young." At the time, 50 seemed old to me, but my wife was only 45 when she passed, so now I definitely get it. My mom had a long struggle with alcohol, which she ultimately won, but then she lost a cancer battle that she couldn't win anyway...
I also lost a brother to suicide. He'd fought depression most of his adult life, and made a few earlier attempts, and was finally successful. After-the-fact, it was surprising how much he'd managed to hide though. His life and circumstances were harder than I'd even known, and it was heartbreaking to realize and wish I could have done something. If there's any silver lining re. my brother, he left this life on his own terms. And I think that requires some courage.
I guess what I'm saying is that I can empathize. When it's time, it's time. Sometimes it seems less "fair" or appropriate.
I do now appreciate the old adage: only the good die young. I don't know what that means about me, perhaps a chance to get good! But I do know that the three most loving, kind, and caring people in my life are gone, and they all departed this life early.