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Posted by: bluebutterfly ( )
Date: March 27, 2023 11:52PM

I am a reading teacher at an elementary school and at the start of this school year my partner had to take a leave of absence. The person my district hired to take her spot temporarily has zero experience working in a school and is not a credentialed teacher. Why am I posting about this? She is also Mormon. TBM, Utah Mormon, to be exact. I'm in California. I don't say this to offend anyone, but Utah Mormons are monumentally different than California Mormons. She is strange to me. Plus, I overheard her teenage son tell her that he handed out a BOM to a kid at school because she was having a bad day. That might be normal in Utah, but definitely not here.
How did she even get hired? Well, she is friends with another teacher at my site who is TBM and this was a desperate situation. Ugh. I have a strong suspicion that we are being paid the same as well. Talk about making me feel devalued completely...the hoops you have to jump through to become a teacher are a lot. I've done them all. I am qualified, experienced, credentialed, and have a Master's degree. But that part is a whole other story.

Back to the point. I live in the same 'ward boundaries' as my TBM parents. Fun fact: I officially resigned several years ago. My TBM parents always have a Christmas party at their house every year and they especially love to invite new people that have moved into their ward. Enter weird co-worker. She apparently went to their Christmas party and BAM! saw pictures of me all around their house. When we came back after Christmas break she was all up in my business (because prior, she obviously had no idea of my background). She was all flirty with me saying OMG she saw my beautiful face at my parent's house and didn't know I was their daughter (she's in their ward). Ick! She then probably wondered why she didn't know I was Mormon and had also never seen me at church. Enter love-bombing. Check. She proceeded to ask me how long I had lived in this area and where my husband was from. WTF. She had never asked me any personal questions prior to this and these were odd and very personal questions. After that strange encounter, I could only surmise that she was probing into my personal life to find out my 'Mormon status', if you will. Well guess what happened next? Radio silence. Remember the flirty weird love-bombing that I got? Since January she barely even acknowledges me when I say, 'Good morning'. As a teacher, I am accustomed to regular interaction with my partner, lots of collaboration, etc. She just shuts the door and barely acknowledges I exist (our classrooms are adjoining). She is also not a teacher professionally, so probably just doesn't get it. I can't help but think she somehow dug into my records, found out that I 'quit', and can't even handle that info...who knows, maybe her hubs is the new ward clerk.

Sorry if my rant is all over the place and I hope it all makes sense! I can't wait for this school year to end.
My point of contrasting Utah and California Mormons is that it could be (tell me if I'm wrong) that Utah Mormons are 'counseled' to not interact with 'apostates' at all, whereas in California I've never heard that guidance. She has only lived here for a year or so and she spent her whole life in Utah. Almost 50 years old, female missionary, the whole bit. She is as TBM as they get.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/27/2023 11:55PM by bluebutterfly.

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: March 27, 2023 11:57PM

You could report her for giving a BoM to a student. That is seriously inappropriate and could represent a problem for the school.

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: March 28, 2023 12:17AM

I think her son gave his classmate the book of misery, and that might be okay? I think so, but I’m not sure.

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: March 28, 2023 12:25AM

Oops. You're right.

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: March 28, 2023 12:27AM

Always :p

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Posted by: bluebutterfly ( )
Date: March 28, 2023 12:56AM

Yea, it was the son giving it to a friend. I feel sorry for him having no idea how bizarre that is where we live. I wonder how the friend reacted.

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Posted by: alsd ( )
Date: April 23, 2023 02:31AM

Lot's Wife Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You could report her for giving a BoM to a
> student. That is seriously inappropriate and
> could represent a problem for the school.

It was her teenage son that handed out the BoM, not the teacher herself. But doubtful that with the current Supreme Court makeup that even a teacher would get in trouble for handing out a BoM, because everything seems to be fair game now as long as there is a religious slant to it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/23/2023 02:32AM by alsd.

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Posted by: gemini ( )
Date: March 27, 2023 11:58PM

She is probably scared of you. What if your common sense rubs off on her?

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Posted by: Soft Machine ( )
Date: March 28, 2023 02:29PM


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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: March 28, 2023 12:06AM

I think that your suspicions are correct. What an unfortunate situation! My school has reading tutors who receive minimal training, but all they have to do is to guide the students through a computer program. I can't imagine trying to teach reading to children without extensive training and experience. Hopefully your coworker will be gone with the end of the school year. Her behavior to you has been inappropriate.

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Posted by: bluebutterfly ( )
Date: March 28, 2023 10:28PM

We are intervention teachers that are (under normal circumstances) required to have a multiple subject credential. I mean, she didn't even know what an IEP was.

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: March 28, 2023 12:25AM

I’m really sorry. Shunning is awful, but sometimes it works out in your favor. She’s not really a colleague and definitely not a friend. Good riddance!

If she asks you any more personal questions, you might tell her that you don’t discuss your personal life with strangers. Then drop the mic and walk away.

Your calling is educating children, not indulging adults exhibiting childlike behaviors.

Hang in there. June will be here before you know it!

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Posted by: bluebutterfly ( )
Date: March 28, 2023 10:32PM

Oh, I highly doubt she will be asking me any questions whatsoever. Job related, or otherwise...due to the suspected shunning. I've never been in a more uncomfortable working situation in my entire life. It's kinda giving me anxiety.
Counting down the days till summer...

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Posted by: Brother Of Jerry ( )
Date: March 28, 2023 12:40AM

There are no special instructions to Utah Mormons. She is just being weirdly immature. Mormonism tends to create cases of arrested development like her, and I suppose there are more of those cases in Utah than in California

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Posted by: bluebutterfly ( )
Date: March 28, 2023 12:53AM

You are so spot on about arrested development (and not with just this particular woman). She acts so goofy and childish around her own children. It's so cringe. I like to sometimes be silly and make my own children laugh, but I certainly don't act as if we're the same age.

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Posted by: bradley ( )
Date: March 28, 2023 11:34AM

It would be ironic if OP is a teacher at a Jr High. That’s the development stage many Mormons are fixated at due to Utah Mormonism blocking the moral development that's supposed to occur at that age.

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Posted by: bluebutterfly ( )
Date: March 28, 2023 10:37PM

Nah, elementary school. That's another thing, though. A person who dreams of becoming a teacher and follows that path usually (there are always exceptions) has a natural rapport with students. This woman who 'wanted a job' is so awkward with them!

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Posted by: Villager ( )
Date: March 28, 2023 01:05AM

Most likely.

Why was she even hired? She has no professional skills in education. When this kind of thing happens in Utah some higher up Mormon priesthood holder will have pulled strings.

It is easy for church leaders to get away with it in Utah but not so much in other states.

Do you know how this decision was made? esp. without consulting you? I think you are entitled to know what she is being paid.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: March 28, 2023 05:07AM

There's a nationwide teacher shortage right now. It's hitting every state, some more than others (looking at you, Florida.) California is probably about average in that regard. Urban school systems are taking the biggest hit.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/28/2023 05:11AM by summer.

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Posted by: bluebutterfly ( )
Date: March 28, 2023 10:41PM

The national shortage is being felt more heavily in some of the larger, more urban neighboring districts. My district isn't tiny, but it is the highest paying in the area. We never have a hard time finding applicants.

She knew a TBM at our school and somehow that was enough! Blows my mind, really.

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Posted by: SCMD1 not logged in ( )
Date: March 28, 2023 01:52AM

Are you at a public school? If so, is there a collective bargaining unit? I ask because I don't understand how a school district could pay a non-credentialed substitute teacher the same as they pay a credentialed teacher with a master's degree.

If it's a private school (or even a charter school, I suppose, though in CA even the subs in charter schools are still required to be credentialed) almost anything goes.

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Posted by: bluebutterfly ( )
Date: March 28, 2023 10:43PM

Yes, I am at a public school. However...the union doesn't make negotiations for my position because it is a part-time/hourly position. When we want changes made to our contracts, we literally talk to the assistant superintendent ourselves. This is why I suspect we are making the same pay because it's hourly, and not based on years of experience and/or education. Meh

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Posted by: blackcoatsdaughter ( )
Date: March 28, 2023 09:05AM

......



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/29/2023 07:48AM by blackcoatsdaughter.

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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: March 28, 2023 10:14AM

I don't believe that the ward clerk had anything to do with looking up your records and the first rule of working with membership records is never discussing records with other members. I have a strong suspicion that this work acquaintance TBM person found out thru ward gossip.

I was reared in Calif and it's very common for California Mormons to have no children/offspring active in the church. My mom's ward has a bishop who is head of a semi-active family; they even have unbaptized children. Yes, it's an extreme situation because the "desired" leaders called to be bishop turned down the calling.

I think your parents have talked about your resigning/leaving the church. I know that my Mom without hesitation talks about her apostate son living in TX (me) and the ups and downs with my gay/trans sibling. Most Mormons like to keep tabs on ward gossip.

I also had a work encounter with a RM. He couldn't handle the stress at my job. He had all the usual quirks of TBM's- a coffee mug repulsed him so he would push the cup away from him when sitting in group meetings. He seemed annoyed that most of us say "Where the hell did I leave my _____?" Sometimes all they served with the daily lunch cafe was iced tea (a Southern tradition) and they would charge him extra for a Sprite or even ice water- it drove him crazy.

Forgot to add:
It's very likely that this TBM from UT was warned to be weary of former members who are nice. Why?

Because they are so dangerous- isn't there a favorite scripture that Mormons love because it talks about Stan deceiving the most intelligent people in the last days?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/28/2023 10:21AM by messygoop.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: March 28, 2023 12:01PM

> ...isn't there a favorite
> scripture that Mormons love
> because it talks about Stan
> deceiving the most intelligent
> people in the last days?

"For false christs and false prophets will rise and show great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect.”

--Matthew 24:24

Probably an interesting conversation: intelligent v. elect; which would you rather be?  Any chance they are mutually exclusive?

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Posted by: bluebutterfly ( )
Date: March 28, 2023 11:14PM

Knowing my narcissistic parents all too well...I would think they would never have let that info slip (that I quit). I'm guessing the gossip is that I'm an inactive. I never actually told them I legally resigned, so I'm not sure if they even know...does a name get erased or moved to a different column? I have no idea.

Many years ago they were so embarrassed that one of my brothers went to juvenile hall as a teen that they lied to my grandma about it because they didn't want to taint her doting opinion of him.

They are very hush hush about anything that could detract from their TBM image.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: March 29, 2023 05:26AM

They might see it on their yearly tithing settlement, if the form still lists family members of record. And then there is ward gossip. I think it's likely that they know.

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Posted by: amiable ( )
Date: March 28, 2023 02:33PM

If you are indeed being shunned, I am aghast at the lack of professionalism that displays. Well, I shouldn't be surprised, I guess...

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Posted by: I ( )
Date: March 31, 2023 06:46AM

Ask her questions-
Don't let up!

Grill her, with "friendliness".
Lead her on. Get her goat.
Find cracks in her head.
And holes in her heart.
Show her up, and down.
But not all around town!

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Posted by: bluebutterfly ( )
Date: April 21, 2023 11:06PM

This 'coworker' of mine pretty much ignores me completely now. She only talks to me if I talk to her first. The awkward tension is palpable. It's making me anxious.

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Posted by: bradley ( )
Date: April 22, 2023 12:10AM

Offer her an apple in the break room. "You must partake of the fruit of this tree. It will make you wise."

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: April 22, 2023 12:39AM

Any chance she'll be gone by the end of the year?

I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted right now. This spring has been a long march. And we're going right into testing season.

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Posted by: bluebutterfly ( )
Date: April 23, 2023 02:14AM

Yes, she'll be gone. Longest school year ever.

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Posted by: nonmo_1 ( )
Date: April 22, 2023 09:43PM

FWIW...I have heard Mormons from other states say how weird UT Mormons are..

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