Date: April 17, 2023 05:11AM
This is so hard to write without the emotions of the last 23 hours welling up into another bout of uncontrolled tears. I was out of town when my daughter called to say she had to call 911 for my wife, the love of my life.
She's been struggling with myelodysplastic syndrome (bone marrow not producing enough healthy red blood cells) and three months of oral chemo. So she's been extremely fatigued, weak, shaky, and suffering from debilitating nausea, unrelated to the MDS though. A bone marrow biopsy in December confirmed the oncologist's suspicion.
In any case, last night she asked my daughter to call 911 at 3 AM due to chest pain and not catching her breath as she was throwing up blood in the bathroom.
Initially, the ER doctor thought she had pneumonia but, after additional tests, they diagnosed Takotsubo cardiomyopathy or stress cardiomyopathy.
It's so hard to see your spouse on a ventilator, in pain and fear, unable to express herself beyond a hand squeeze, a nod, a shake of the head, or a blink of an eye.
Since she is still somewhat of a believer in TSSC, I asked if she wanted a "blessing" and she emphatically shook her head "no."
The one bright side is that all of our children and most of our grandchildren were able to make it to the hospital (three from out of state snd a forth joining us today): two inactive members and the rest non believers like me.
We all love her so much and desperately want to see her well again. I prayed in my way, while holding her hand, please god or creator, heal her or take away her suffering, and please, wife, feel my love for you. I'm so sorry to see you like this.
I just don't have the words except "I love you. I'm so grateful for our time together." We met and I proposed 46 years ago. She added such wonderful purpose, friendship, and companionship in my life. I would choose her all over again (less TSSC, of course, if it were possible).
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/17/2023 05:15AM by cuzx.