I have an ongoing discussion going with my spouse.

The discussion is centered around argument that any believing mormon MUST believe/think that any post-believer/apostate has to have done something wrong to lose testimony.

Example:

We watched a video on youtube that a mormon apologist put out attacking someone who claimed to lose testimony after reading ces letter.

In the comment section of that video - there were comment(s) made that only people who have sinned lose their testimony.


We are a a family gathering recently and the topic came up amongst all the believers - on their own.

Someone they all knew left the church and this person had been in leadership and was well known and respected.

We listened for 20-30 minutes as several of the family members wondered outloud about the reasons why.

The reasons ranged from infidelity/porn/sex to just stupidity for reading things that wiser people designated as "dangerous".

We said nothing.

A nephew piped in and asked whether the reason he left may be because the church is just a church...

Someone asked what he meant and he said - "he could have left because it's not true"

Silence - and immediate group break-up - all but one quickly went to do something else.

Spouse is starting to agree with me.

I'm of the opinion that 98.2% of mormons know that they do things on practically a daily basis that disqualify them for exhalation but are hoping that when the time comes, and they look in their wallets, they'll find ghawd 'miracled' them a 'get-out-of-jail' card.

All they have to do is keep saying they believe.  

... It's so easy to say!  And if the church isn't true, the upside of saying that it is can still be worth it, like the praise heaped upon those with 'strong' testimonies holding high callings!


Life is all about fitting in and making yourself comfortable.

Losing your testimony simply means the brainwashing hasn’t taken effect. The solution is more indoctrination with daily study of church materials, temple attendance, meeting attendance and rinse washing and repeating until you say “I know it’s true!”

When I was young and into my twenties I would stand up and say the "I know its true", but deep down I knew I was just fooling myself, unwilling at that point to take on the wrath of Mom. I just went along with the tribe, because that was how you stayed on the good side. As I got older I stopped saying "I know its true", because I could not say one thing and do another, it was so hypocritical.

When I stepped out of the tribe, it was amazing to me how many told me in secret that they envied my moving on and living my own life. They always ended it with, "I wish I had the guts like you did to just walk away." I have had many things said about me, several have asked me about the gossip. I just laugh and say I would like to have done that, it would have added some spice to my life. They either laugh with me, or the tribal ones get a look of horror, make an excuse to end the conversation and run back to the comfort of the tribe.

There is nothing more threatening to a Mormon than knowing an intelligent, kind, non-sinner who is very familiar with all Mormon doctrine left the church. Makes them feel uncomfortable for staying.

Like when you throw a party and nobody comes it is too hard to admit the truth--they don't find you fun-- and so, the need to assume there is a really bad flu going around. Cuz really, Everybody loves me!

I was reading old general conference reports my mother and grandmother kept.

One from the early 1900s said 80% of apostates leave the church because of sexual sins.

Any reason to leave is a good reason and that is as good as any!

I think even the most devoted TBM secretly fears that they'll become an apostate. It can be difficult to remain faithful in Mormonism and church members are constantly warned to stay on the straight and narrow. When someone leaves the church, TBMs look for reasons why it might have happened because they want to assure themselves that they have nothing in common with the apostate and they're "safe."

With that in mind, I think it's only human nature to look to some terrible shortcoming as the reason for someone's departure from the church. It's easier and creates a sort of distance for TBMs from apostates to believe that sin or something awful is responsible rather than some benign cause like reading the church's essays. That way, the TBM can say, "Well, I don't do anything terrible like that, so I won't lose my faith."

I agree with you. The disparagement of those who leave is rooted in fear that the same might happen to the one who still believes. Many Mormons are not secure in their faith.

I was causing him to waiver in testimony. (I told a story that generally made fun of the idea that priesthood blessings are more powerful than normal prayer)

he was angry when he said it.

My teen daughter told him that it must not be worth holding onto if my existence caused him to waiver.

NeverMos rejecting Mormonism can be brushed off because they are ignorant, stiff neckedness (not to be confused with stark nakedness), and all-around lack of character.

When someone who full-well understands Mormonism and rejects it, that really scares the faithful. They have to invent some reason why it is the apostate's fault, not the Church's fault.