Posted by:
rallychild
(
)
Date: August 04, 2011 08:09PM
I've been dating this girl for a significant amount of time (about 8 months) and we have gotten pretty serious. We really love each other a lot, I can most definitely see a future with this girl, and even though we are both in school still, we have talked about getting married in the next 2 to 3 years, if we still dating, of course.
Just to preface my actual question and problem a little bit: I am a recovering exmormon, now pursuing a life of atheism, which my girlfriend is supportive and cool with. My girlfriend isn't necessarily an 'ex' mormon, but she doesn't go to church anymore, she doesn't believe in most of the doctrine and practices, and is kind of in transition to leaving the church as well. We both grew up in very strict mormon households and our immediate families are extremely TBM.
So, as we have talked about marriage, we both obviously would like to have a normal wedding, not a temple wedding. But here's the problem: My girlfriend strongly suggests we lie to everyone- our family, friends, bishop, SP, community, and follow through with getting a temple marriage. Why? Well, because she knows that if she doesn't get married in the temple, she will lose her family. They will cut her off completely. That's how devout mormon her (and my) family are. They will shun her from their lives forever. It has already happened to her cousin. That is the only reason she feels like she needs to marry in the temple.
Now, I know that lying is morally wrong and I would absolutely hate to have to be fake for a little while, but if it means my girlfriend gets to 'keep' her family, then I will do anything for her. I'm trying to justify lying to bishops and family and etc. just for the sake of my girlfriend being able to maintain close a good relationships with her family she loves so much.
I'm not saying that's what we will for sure end up doing if we do get married, but that is a huge possibility. What do you guys think of this?