Posted by:
LochNessie
(
)
Date: August 28, 2011 04:24PM
With my bish, it was the normal worthiness questions. When I saw the SP, I got the questions and then he shared his advice that he gave to all new temple goers and advice for newlyweds. There was sex advice in a sense, but I don't believe he was a pervert in any way. I think he was truly trying to help. It just that the church warps you so.
New temple advice: I was told to always honor my garments. Never, never, never allow them to touch the floor. This was actually a little bit of a joke in the stake. Not letting your garments touch the floor was this sp's pet project. He would talk about it in stake conference. I knew his daughter from the single's ward and she said that her dad got on her mom a few times when during laundry the garments would sometimes touch the floor. Her mom replied that he was welcome to do the laundry if he thought he could do it better. We all laughed.
It was a strange quirk, but my sp was a nice guy. I knew his daughter since I was a beehive and he honestly seemed like a good guy, not just show for the church folks. His wife and kids truly seemed to admire and respect him out of love and not because he was the priesthood leader.
His other adive was that now that I had my recommend and was found worthy to attend, I could ask another endowed member about what when on in the temple so I would be prepared when I went through. Obviously he knew how weird it was and wanted the newbies to be a little bit prepared. I can admire that. I've also never heard of any other sp telling anyone that.
Newlywed advice: This was a little strange because I had spent time at his house hanging out with his kids. Well the advice started with we should pray and read our scriptures together. Let the Lord into our relationship. Blah, blah, blah. Normal stuff.
He then said that we would of course want to intimate. This was perfectly normal and natural, but we should remember to put our garments back on very soon after we were finished. He then said that we might want to use lingerie as part of our intimacy. This was also perfectly normal and natural, but that again after we were finished we should put our garments back on. It all came back to garments. That was the end of the sex talk.
I actually felt that the sp was giving sex advice to try and do away with some of the mormon misconceptions about sex. I give my sp props for saying that sex was normal and natural since so many mormons have hangups. He also said lingerie was ok. Something my mom did not agree with when she slapped me after I bought some.
I never had another temple interview. After going through I never wanted to go back, so I can't say if my sex life would ever had been dug into or not.
Of course growing up in the church, I had heard the apostles said no oral sex, but I got married in 1999 and it had been a long time since that advice had come out. Now it boggles my mind that old men close doors and give worthiness interviews to YW, but at the time it seemed normal. All I was ever asked as a teen or young adult was if I lived the law of chastity, never anything more. I know that was not the case for everyone, but I never felt, even now as an exmo, that I ever had any inappropriate interview questions about sex except for one time...
I confessed to my bish that I had gone a little too far with my fiance. The bish asked exactly what we did, but he never tried to pry or ask for more information. He actually told me, that these things can happen and so we should not put oursleves in situations where they could happen again like being alone together in a room with the door closed. He also told me that if it happened again, he would have to tell my parents-I had moved back home for a few months just before the marriage- this made me so angry because I was a college graduated adult who had been supporting myself and only moved back home to save three months rent!!! How dare he treat me like a 16 year old!
I have to say that this was the worst thing I had experienced in a church interview- threatning to tell the parents of an almost 24 year old that she was fooling around with her fiance. And I use fooling around loosely, we were still able to be married in the temple.
I had nothing to do with him again until the temple interview questions, which as I said before were just the temple questions. He did not ask if I had sinned again. Which I had, but didn't think he needed to know about. The bish had also told me to read miracle of forgiveness, which in my opinion is the most damaging book ever written by a church leader.