Posted by:
wittyname
(
)
Date: December 19, 2011 02:17AM
Any way you can push up your wisdom teeth removal?
It doesn't matter if he has to pay for the dental plan or not, it's something he's using as leverage to try to get you to meet him in person. It's obviously something that does not require a face-to-face. What happens if you just say you can't make it to discuss before the beginning of the year. What is he going to do? Take you off the policy? That would be a dumb move on his part, in case you tell him you'll submit to his will and do everything he says to remain on the policy. By then, his open enrollment window would be closed and you'd end up without it anyway. Meet with him after you have your wisdom teeth done. If that won't work, then just accept that you'll have to wait till you have your own dental insurance to get them done. Minor inconvenience, but not too drastic. (for the record, I really don't know anything about being under a parent's medical/dental plan, my father was self-employed and did not believe in health insurance of any kind).
A question: if you have your own health coverage, why have you allowed him to keep you on his?
Suggestions:
If you really support yourself, then you need to file your own taxes and send him a letter informing him that he is no longer authorized to claim you as a dependent. If you can get the paperwork together to show self sufficiency for the past years, you should be able to file an amended return. Speak to an accountant or your financial aid department (see next point)
I had the same problem in college, my father (who I never got along with, I listened to his constant mantra of "you're a failure, you'll always be a failure" all through grade school, through high school, and I fully believed it to the point where I'd purposely fail things because that was controlled, and I was too afraid to see the proof that he was right if I tried and failed, screwed up, right? Once I became a legal adult, I took charge of my life and no longer depended on him for any of my needs, and if he wasn't supporting me, then I didn't have to listen to his abuse) refused to hand over any tax records, and I was under 24 so I couldn't get loans on my own. When I asked for the tax records he just said I didn't need them because he WOULD pay for school and my living expenses so I didn't need loans, but that wasn't an option for me because I needed to not be beholden to him or subjected to his abuse (something that didn't stop even after I was supporting myself, which is why I had to cut ties or I would have never made it through college with the "failure" soundtrack constantly playing - not that it went away after I stopped speaking to him, but I learned how to make mistakes and accept them as normal, and eventually started to try instead of fail because that was expected of me, cutting him out was the healthiest thing I ever did) I worked full time through college, lived on my own, paid for everything, including tuition, on my own, but he wouldn't stop claiming me as a dependent, regardless of how I filed my own taxes, which further screwed me over.
Finally I spoke to the financial aid department and got the information about filing for emancipation (for financial aid purposes) so I could get school loans with out parental info before I turned 24. If you need student loans, speak to your financial aid office and find out about the process. (in the end, I gave up. School in my state was really cheap and while a loan would have helped, the time and labor involved in doing it was too much... no, actually, having to speak to my father and get him to fill out the papers to verify my claim was too daunting. Anyway, I made it on my own, but you don't have to. Look into this process.
As for whether or not you should cut them out all together... that's up to you. I cut my father out completely while I was in school and starting out with my career, and the circumstances just kept the estrangement going. I never would have made it through school and out into the career world if I hadn't cut him off. I'm not saying this to be dramatic, but I likely would have killed myself if I hadn't made the choice I did. The estrangement ended up lasting a couple decades, half of the time I spent harboring a lot of guilt. When I finally decided to get in contact with him, it was too late. So, that's my story, hopefully it will help with perspective or something.
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 12/19/2011 11:23AM by wittyname.