Sunday my nevermo inlaws came over for dinner. My husband brought up the topic of crazy mormon beliefs. They were all laughing and joking about stuff. I have NO idea why this bothered me so much. WTF My husband and I make fun of all these things too. I don't know why when nevermos make fun of mormons it makes me mad. I'm also mad at myself. I know that there is no way in hell I would ever agree with anything in the mormon church or go back, so why do I feel this way?
Because the Mormons are your Tribe. They are my tribe too. We're like the smart kids born into a backwood hillbilly family tribe.. It's Ok for us to make fun of our weird family and their funny ways.. but we also love them .... and it's STILL our tribe.
well what a marvelous exception that I am! being born into the MORmON tribe, I am still NOT a part of the MORmON tribe! others can make fun of the MORmONS all that they want, it doesnt bother me at all, because MORmONS are not my tribe, even if It was where I came from as I was raised in their whacked out cult!
If I had to make a guess, I suppose that it's the same reason why some blind people can joke about their disability with other blind people but then come defensive when those same jokes are told by sighted people--we think that it makes us as a group look bad.
Yes, you are no longer a Mormon in terms of your beliefs, etc., but I would bet that somewhere deep inside--possibly unconsciously--you still identify yourself with the group and how you were raised so many years ago. And I would say that that is okay. Learn to forgive yourself--you're only human after all.
Dad was an altar boy and attended Catholic school until he was in junior high, but he quit the Catholic church by the time he was in college. He joined the Mormon church for my mother in his 30s.
We had the home teachers over once, and there got to be some laughter making fun of the Catholic church, and Dad told me later that it had offended him and he didn't even know why. He was no defender of that religion. He thought maybe it's a knee-jerk reaction after many years of believing a certain way.
Maybe that's what was happening for you. I know sometimes I'm uncomfortable in the company of nevermos when they start attacking Mormonism. I feel like only I should have the right to do that. :)
It's probably because you still have some Mormon brainwashing. It's the same reason why I get so angry when I meet a homosexual, even though I totally support gay marriage and equality for the homosexual community.
I think he's just saying that there is a certain reaction programmed into us by the church toward homosexuality that is similar to the reaction programmed into us toward criticizing the Mormon church. It's very difficult to overcome the programming, even when you know it's wrong.
The ground in guilt takes a long time to leave....I've gotten so disillusioned that I join in on MORG condemnation discussions....and I feel zero emotion when people dump on the Cult...
I would have to think it's natural when people mock TSCC's claims to the point that they're inferring that anyone who would believe such nonsense is an idiot. That becomes a personal attack, even if they don't intend for it to be. You no doubt have a lot of friends, possibly even family, or people who you at least still care about in there. You know they're not stupid--far from it.
I feel insulted when it happens, too--everybody does things that don't make sense to other people because those people may not be in need of the same things you are seeking in your life. Many of us laugh at people who make the same idiotic relationship decisions over and over again--and we fail to realize that the person isn't stupid, but looking desperately for something, and they're in the wrong place.
People just like to have someone else to rip on to make themselves feel better. It's just a part of the human condition, and it is pretty damn dark.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/30/2012 12:09AM by flyboy21.
Thanks! Great advice everybody. I do have family I love that are hardcore momos. I'm trying to learn to love them dispite their relgious beliefs. I just wish they would try and do the same for me.
Hypocricy expresses itself in actions, it is something you do not something you feel. Feelings just are what they are, there is no point in taking moral responsibility for them as they are involuntary. You didn't choose to feel bothered, you just did.
It's an interesting question why though. These are the kind of things we can only answer for ourselves. But you've good some good suggestions so far.
Oddly, I don't like it either. It is an interesting question. I think because a no mo doesn't get how someone can believe in it. And we know those sincere Mormons we love and know it is their cherished faith. Kind of like making fun of someone with a handicap.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/30/2012 10:37PM by suckafoo.
It sounds like you are just a decent person who is caring and protective of people in general. You may be instinctively wary of stereotyping and the dehumanising effects it can have.
because like all of us, you have been subject to abuse. sadly, we are all going to have to heal over time. the knowledge that muchg of your life and mine was a lie will make you feel bad at the most random of times. just try to be logical, which is antithetical to the mormon brainwashing you recieved for much of your life. I feel the same way sometimes, and my "family" is still trying to make me feel like a piece of garbage for being more moral and smarter than them
The first time I made fun of the temple ceremony in front of non-members, it made me extremely uncomfortable. Now when I mock the church in front of my TBM peeps, I am comfortable. Talking about the crazy makes it subside, over time.
I have found out that I make a lot of other people uncomfortable though.
I'm a nevermo and I don't think I would be comfortable making fun of mormon beliefs an/or mormons like an ex-mormon would.
I would and do laugh along but initiate it? No. I haven't paid my dues; I haven't experienced the real emotional pain involved in becoming an ex-mo. (At least I hope I haven't initiated any.)
It's like humour about disabilities. It's much more acceptable coming from someone with the experience of that disability and than someone who does not. 'Insiders' share an understanding and an outside voice can often sound derisive (even if they are not intending to).