Posted by:
angsty
(
)
Date: July 27, 2012 10:31PM
So, hey everybody. I've been AWOL for a while since my crazy job has been limiting my time on the web, and because I just haven't had Mormonism on the brain much lately-- I know right? How cool is it to have the only Mormon drama in my life be Mitt Romney? Of course, it couldn't last and today it reared its ugly head again.
DH has been struggling with his father's issues for years. FIL is passive-aggressive, insensitive, judgmental, ignorant, insecure-- he embodies the stereotype of priesthood arrogance. It's ugly.
Anyway, DH made a silly joke on his facebook status yesterday (really not scandalous, and had nothing to do with Mormonism) that apparently crossed a sacred line and lo and behold, Bishop dad opted to de-friend him after making some comments. DH was, understandably hurt. He has been expecting this for some time, but didn't realize that he was going to feel this way about it. He only talks to his dad maybe twice a year (at most, if even that) by phone, but he figured it was just because they interacted enough on facebook and his dad isn't much of a phone person. Now there's no facebook either and it pretty much amounts to being completely cut out of his dad's life.
So, in response, I finally did what I have been wanting to do ever since the day my in-laws invaded facebook. I defriended and blocked my Utah, TBM, Bishop, father-in-law. I am done with him and all his ignorance. For years, he has been posting stupid-ass, judgey comments on my pictures and fb wall. I've just quietly deleted them without comment, hoping that he would get the point that my facebook wall is not the place to make derogatory comments about my people, culture, dog, or hometown.
Turns out de-friending toxic relatives is mildly empowering. It actually feels rather refreshing to have our facebook relationship (or lack thereof) honestly reflect the state of our relationship (non-existent). I expected to feel something more than this. Like "I sure showed him" or something really juvenile like that. But if I were to summarize how I feel about it, it's "meh". It was just the thing to do. He has been disrespecting me for years, and now he has completely rejected my #1. I've been tolerant of him for my husband's sake and since he doesn't even want to maintain that connection, we really are nothing to each other anyway. If I felt something more, I think it would be a sign that I was investing too much emotionally in a virtually non-existent relationship.
Anyway, just thought I'd share in case anyone can relate.