Posted by:
ExMoBandB
(
)
Date: December 30, 2014 06:18PM
I'll feel normal when I'm treated like I'm normal.
Maybe it would help for you to think of building a new life, instead of re-building the old one. I never felt like a "normal" Mormon, because I didn't believe in Joseph Smith or the Temple. I still believe in God and Christ, but it is a "new" faith for me, without the JS spin on everything.
It's new! My life is filled with LOVE--something my children and I never found in the Mormon cult. I worship science and nature, and the innate goodness of people, along with my worship of God. When something bad happens, I don't cry about something I might have done to deserve it, but I seek help. Instead of a priesthood blessing, there is Instacare and the ER. My new support system is not cookie-bearing false friends, but my own self, my children, my non-Mormon friends and family, doctors and nurses and taxi drivers and delivery people, good authors and poets, my dog, and information on the internet.
It's a new life of not having to please everyone all the time. I don't have to jump at the sound of my doorbell or phone. I can say "no." Take classes to learn something new and to meet new people.
Try the new life first, then if you don't like it after a couple of years, you can always, always go back to the old one.
Professional therapy helped speed up my recovery, and I would recommend that to anyone who can pay for it. My psychiatrist was treating my PTSD, and never gave me religious advice. Finding the root of my victimization was necessary for my cure, and we found the dark cancer or Mormonism intertwined with all that was horrible and evil. I really feel like I've had surgery.
Everyone is different, but, for me, the ANGER lasted the longest. I do get more angry than normal, when I see the cult stalking my grandchildren, and trying to teach them lies. Child abuse and spousal abuse are all enabled and excused by JS's cult--and that makes me maddest of all! Grrrrrrr!