Posted by:
exminion
(
)
Date: December 30, 2018 02:44AM
I'd have to go with Love. Not finding it, but concentrating on what's already there, and nurturing it, spreading it, wielding the power of it, basking in the happiness of it, watching it work wonders on people--especially on children.
Imagination comes a close second. These are the things that have built my life, that have motivated me to work harder than I thought I ever could. I have rescued myself from the brink of death, several times, and have endured a childhood of abuse and torture, and imprisonment and rape at the hands of an ex who almost murdered me
Fast forward (but it wasn't fast at all) to now, when I have more love in my life than I thought was possible! Thanks to Mormonism, I had no expectations that all of the love I gave out would come back to me! How does love multiply like that? Where does it come from, deep inside of us, who think of ourselves as "nothing"?
I am living a miraculous life, that I imagined, always. I never veered off the path towards what I wanted, though I had some easier and better choices, if I had been willing to give up some of my dreams and principles. I could see its light, taste it, feel it, always in my darkest hours. Some say this is "God", some believe that my yet-to-be-born children were prompting me from their pre-existence, some believe in mental telepathy, and mind-over-matter, or another dimension. I believe it comes from within our selves, through energy created in our living brain.
There was always something inside of me that no one could touch, that kept me strong. What is this "inner joy" or "inner peace"? What makes us who we are?
The Mormon cult tried to take this away from me. Even my own Mormon parents would say, "You can't do that. You'll never succeed." Like when I was a high-jumper, I would first visualize myself clearing the bar, and I knew before I even took off, whether I was going to make it or not.
My love of life and love for my children will never lessen; it is unconditional.
This is something Russ Nelson and other Mormons don't believe in: "unconditional love". Yet, it is the basis of Christianity. It is the foundation of families, and happiness, and survival of the individual and the species.
Love is my new religion, and it's much more complex and difficult to analyze than fake history, myths, and superstitions and Gods and magical beings. Love is real, and it might take me another lifetime to understand it.
What fun it is to investigate, though! I hope you find it LR--but as is often the case, you already have it! I know you have love here on RFM!