I had forgotten about the old English crap. One time my dad gave a lengthy 20 minute or so prayer. When he was finally finished I said, you do know just saying thou, and ending words with e-t-h does not make it old English, right? My dad turned red, and my mom slapped me into next month. It was worth it to know that I had hit a home run.
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Watching basketball with hubby and kids. Go Cats!
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I thought it was the jello at the dinners! My bad!!!!
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I offered to give a missionary a blow job when I was in college. He grinned, and said "what's that?" That should have made me think before I married a RM (WTF was I doing). Our wedding night was a nightmare. I practically had to pry his clothes and garments off of him. He was mortified. I was furious. The first of many, many horrible nights of sex.
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The dude in the sun outfit from the Jimmy Dean sausage commercial.
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My TBM brother was talking to my daughter and I on Skype. He asked my daughter why she didn't come stay with his family for a few days over Spring Break so she could play with her cousins. My daughter said "I want to be with my mom. Besides, I am a genital, not a moron like you guys." LMAO!!!
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My brother and his new husband came by for brunch and to play outside in the snow with my kids. I fixed a southern buffet: sausage, bacon, country ham, biscuits, scrambled eggs, grits, sausage gravy, home made jams & apple butter, mimosas, Bloody Mary's, coffee, and hot chocolate.
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Hubby built a camp fire on the back of the farm. Harnessed up a pair of our draft horses to our big farm wagon, loaded up a dozen kids and took them out to the fire for a cookout. He is now taking all us for a wagon ride. It is freezing cold but we are bundled up, and having a great time! Did I mention the snow flurries?!?!
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The church I belong to provides meals for kids during the summer when school is out during the summer - including a brown bag dinner to take home. Tomorrow we are offering our first ever Winter Bible School. Breakfast, lunch, and a dinner bag to go. Games, singing, movies, swimming are planned. They are welcome to come eat and leave, or stay the day. The most exciting part to me is that th
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My ex-laws always have prayer prior to eating. They asked my then four year old son to say the blessing. He prayed that the food would nourish their bodies. He also asked for a big penis with lots of hair on it. I only wish I had gotten to actually see the look on their faces instead of only hearing about it from my furious TBM ex. It makes me laugh because I am positive that is the only
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Anything is a better alternative. Standing on your head in 2 feet of poop for 100 years would beat being a mormon.
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It Feels Like Home To Me makes me cry - played at a lot of funerals Mary Did You Know done by Pentatonix (sp?) the video is beautiful
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I found my husbands car keys without praying. They were in his hand. Just saying... Did it on my own.
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Excommunicated when I was 23. Now 52 - so 29 glorious years out if that hellhole.
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After being beat by my RM husband for "not minding" him, I hit him in the face as hard as I could with a skillet (which broke his nose), picked up our baby and got the hell out of there and never went back. I was ex'd for running my mouth about the church, my husband, his family and not attending my court of love. When I was contacted by the bishop I told him to leave me the fuck al
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The phone rang this morning and it was my mother calling to spread hate and misery as usual. The first words out of her mouth were "all of this is your fault. You and everyone like you who loves q-&&rs and their ways". It took her longer than I thought it would for her to call me about the CHI leak in regards to children of same sex parents. Not exactly sure what about
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I know that I am in the minority but I did join another church. I attend a Southern Baptist church - the one that my husband has belonged to his adult life. Prior to dating him I did not go to church. What I like about this church is nobody puts pressure on you to participate, come to church, or tithe. It is enjoyable to me to do outreach projects that the church sponsors - school supplies
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It went as well as could be expected. He told them that he had not believed in the church for many years. He also told them that he had been in a same sex relationship for many years. He said my mom had a screaming fit and said "you and your sister are bad seed." "This is all her fault!" And other cliches too numerous to mention. In her rage she took a 50 year old paint
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Wow, I didn't realize I had caused any drama. I apologize for my many shortcomings.
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That he has sent in his resignation and is leaving the church in his rear view mirror. I have always been the least favorite child: female, didn't go on a mission, divorced my RM husband within two years and was excommunicated. My twin brother didn't go on a mission, and has lived a double life going to church pretending he isn't gay, and having a same sex partner who nobody in the family k
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"You have lovely home" Soon after I married my nevermo husband the door bell rang and he answered the front door. There stood the missionaries and not knowing any better he let them in. We were having a rough day - we had went out of town for two days and a neighbor had watched our pets. I guess from stress the cats had vomited cat food and hair balls all over the cream colored
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HaHaHa! That is the first real laugh i have had all day.
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Never. However they may let him clean the bathrooms if he plays his cards right.
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Ice cold sweet tea just like my mama never made! One gallon of fresh brewed tea, one cup of sugar, lemon flavored vodka to taste. Killing two birds at once - tea and booze in the same glass.
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I was never a missionary, but I sure did like the Elders! One particular Elder who lived across the hallway from me came and got in my bed every night for five months. His first companion knew but he must not have cared. My friend and I took a set of Elders to a major amusement park. Not on P-day. We were all dressed in shorts and flip flops. Did I mention that not only were we out of the zon
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A set of Elders showed up on my doorstep and asked if I wanted my name removed from the church membership. I told them "No, I was excommunicated 30 years ago." One of them exclaimed "are you sure?!?!"
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