Exmormon Bios  : RfM
Exmormon's exit stories about how and why they left the church. 

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Results 1 - 30 of 33
5 years ago
motherkate
I have not had that experience at all with any in-person interaction with members of the clergy of various different denominations I’ve explored. I feel like maybe that’s something that’s coming through because of the online interaction rather than it being in person. It’s also possible you just ran across a few bad apples in your web chats. If this is something you want to pursue, I woul
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
Most people ask why I left. I usually get nods of agreement when I explain how it’s a false religion and an emotionally abusive and damaging organization. I occasionally have people ask what I believe in now or if I joined another church. Unless they’re Mormon, then they either act incredulous or they immediately start treating me like a leper.
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
I did love girls camp as a teen. Some of my only good memories during that time are from camp. It was usually the one big activity even the inactive girls enjoyed participating in. I wanted something similar for my kids so starting at nine, they go to a Methodist Church camp for a week every summer. They also do scouts. My boys do Cub Scouts through one of the only non-LDS packs in our area, itâ€
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
I don’t think god caused those things to happen. Biology caused those things to happen. I didn’t learn any lesson from those things, and I don’t think that’s the point of them either, but I got through them and I don’t believe I was alone. The bad things that happen on earth are either the result of other people’s actions which god can’t change or control because that violates free
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
I believe in prayer but I don’t believe god actually directly intervenes in anyone’s life. I think that would violate our free will. I see prayer as a way of forming a relationship with our creator not asking for favors like he’s some magical sky genie. Prayers are answered by us having emotional support through the things we’ve asked for help with. I went a really long time being a dieha
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
That is horrifying. I really wouldn’t have guessed that people wouldn’t know how to open a garage door manually though, that truly surprises me. My 90 year old house doesn’t have a garage so I will have to go to my parents house and make sure this is something my kids know.
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
How recent? I’m under 35 but I stopped attending the LDS church ten years ago. I haven’t actually resigned, I personally think it’s a stupid, unnecessary hoop to jump through that won’t result in my name being completely erased from church records anyway, but I did recently join another church so as far as I’m concerned that makes me officially a non Mormon.
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
This got brought up a LOT at church and in seminary. There are some other Christian groups that believe something similar but obviously not the part about the sacrifices happening in LDS temples. I thought this was official church doctrine, is it not?
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
It’s ugly. All the new temples are so ugly and bland. Certainly not what I would choose if I was building what I believed to be a literal house of god. The local news has already said just the announcement of the temple has raised home prices in the neighborhood around where they’re building it. Personally, I’d be upset that such a big, ugly, windowless building was going up near my home (n
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
I never had any such experience while in the church but I didn’t get that far, I left upon becoming an adult. I remember feeling a distinct negative energy when doing baptisms for the dead though. I felt incredibly guilty for having that feeling at the time and chalked it up to being nervous in such an ‘impressive’ space. I now think I knew instinctively that I was doing something very wron
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
This link has good information explaining the genetic changes victims of childhood abuse can undergo. https://www.genome.gov/27554258/child-abuse-leaves-epigenetic-marks/
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
Well pediphillia is a stretch and if anyone tried to pin that on me in that situation would immediately get told off. There are children who legitimately get abused and taken advantage of and having someone take pictures of them in a normal classroom setting is a far cry from that. It’s certainly not crossed any lines into illegality. If you followed your supervisor’s orders, you should be fi
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
No other Christian denomination that I know of does anything of the sort. I’ve attended all of the different mainline Protestant churches over the years and a number of nondenominational churches as well. My husband’s family is Catholic except his dad who is an ordained Baptist minister. Catholics have confession but that’s not what Mormons do at all. My pastor (United Methodist) is horrifi
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
It would help to at least know what you do for work. My husband is a maintenance director at a large, private nursing home. He has to dress nicely because he’s a department supervisor but also be able to help out his maintenance crew occasionally. He likes LL Bean, Patagonia, Lands End, and Duluth Trading Company for shirts, khakis, and outerwear, Keen footwear, Smartwool socks, and the only je
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
No one is really treated well in the church. Men are expected to serve the church and there’s a lot of pressure put on them do so but women are expected to serve EVERYONE. Women might as well be property. Everything they taught me was about serving my future husband and children or protecting my value, not as a person but as an asset to him and the church.
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
If you never joined the church, there’s nothing to resign from. You can try to ask to have your name removed from their records but I’ve never actually heard of that being successful, except maybe in Europe where laws about personal privacy are more strict. I would suggest that when the Mormons come knocking, which they inevitably will, to either not answer the door or tell them you’re not
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
I wasn’t actually taught what it was until seminary in high school and even then, it wasn’t a terribly in-depth lesson. Before that, I had heard the name Kolob but didn’t really know what anyone meant by it. That lesson in seminary, brief as it was, was a real eye opener for me. It was completely nonsensical and ridiculous to me. It got added to my shelf and I started wondering what else I
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
‘We’re incredibly happy, just ignore all those unhappy people over there in the corner! Nooo, there’s definitely more happy people over here, we’re not outnumbered by those miserable saps over there.’-every Mormon who participated in this study. I’m not buying it. I’m just not. All but two Mormon friends of mine are on antidepressants, I personally know three new Mormon mothers wh
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
I remember my mother telling me once that older single women must all be lesbians. That was the only logical explanation in her mind. An adjacent phenomenon I’ve witnessed in the church is how women who struggle to get pregnant are treated. A very close friend from high school tried for over a decade before finally getting pregnant, and then the pregnancy almost killed her. During the years she
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
A lot of discretion is given to individual bishops for how much help to give out, technically there is plenty available but how much is given varies greatly ward by ward. And I have known people who have been helped immensely by the church welfare system in times of need. I’ve also known people who weren’t. Now, as to why many active members are, or seem to be, well off is really because the
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
I always felt that the parties came about kind of organically, the same as ones for baby blessings and baptisms. For many families, these are important moments (and I actually kind of think they should be, regardless of whether I agree with the religious motivations behind those moments or not) and families tend to gather together for important moments so it makes a certain amount of sense to ent
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
I do assume that Starbucks=coffee. Bad, way overpriced coffee. Have you considered making tea yourself if it makes you self conscious to be seen with a Starbucks cup? I occasionally really enjoy a good cup of tea, finding a high quality loose leaf tea that you like the taste of and then carefully brewing it yourself can be very pleasurable and relaxing, for me it’s sort of ritualistic. And then
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
There’s no formal training, no. There are handbooks (what would the Mormon Church be without handbooks after all) but their interpretation and use is left up to the discretion of individuals called to that position. That’s partly why you’ll see such variety among how different bishops operate (ie church welfare, ward member confidentiality, church discipline, etc). Really though, how could
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
This is how I see it, personally. It’s the biblical use of the word ‘charity’ which is translated as ‘love’ in more modern translations. If you replace the word charity with love in the quote, it makes a lot more sense. The only thing that bugs me about this quote, and other GA quotes, is the attempt at sounding biblical. One, it leads to a lack of clarity and two, it comes off as prete
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
I didn’t vote for him either but I also had tremendous respect and admiration for him. Sarah Palin spoiled that ticket IMO and I couldn’t vote for him with her on it. He’s a very good man and I will honestly miss him being in Washington. He was a voice of reason I think. May his soul Rest In Peace.
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
I’m perfectly happy with my one hour service, with coffee and refreshments afterwards. Spending my Sunday mornings at church feels like a refreshing, renewing experience. It’s my reset button for the new week and starts things out on a positive, happy note. Three hours as a Mormon was literally physically exhausting for me. Even the most TBM people I know feel drained by the full three hour s
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
Is your wife a nevermo? I can’t imagine anyone raised in TSCC not being aware of that particular belief. It’s pretty standard church doctrine and comes straight from the BOM. I can remember COUNTLESS lessons on how serious sexual immorality was, second only to losing ones testimony, but both way ahead of murder. Only in a Mormon’s effed up mind does that make any sense at all.
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
I guess I never really thought about where I was redirecting my 10% after I stopped paying. Leaving TSCC coincided with moving in with my future husband and starting a joint bank account and jointly budgeting our money. We’ve always put about 10% away in savings of one type or another and we’ve also tried to donate regularly to legitimate charity organizations, now that we have joined a new c
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
Thank you :). My husband and I are both millennials, some people act so amazed that we both have full time jobs, live on our own, and support ourselves and our children. My husband is a veteran too. We are not that unusual either, people seem to only see the worst in young people nowadays while remembering only the best about themselves.
Forum: Recovery Board
5 years ago
motherkate
I have coworkers who have talked about their children using Facebook for their mission. It’s utterly bizarre to me, I’m fairly young and the thought of being able to use Facebook while ‘serving’ a mission would have been absolutely unacceptable when I was that age. I actually feel like it’s just another way for TSCC to exercise control over one more aspect of the lives of its members. I
Forum: Recovery Board
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