Subject: My experience canceling a Mormon temple sealing....what a joke!
Date: Jul 27 15:44 2004
Author: starhy

I am in the process of leaving the church due all of the history, contradictions etc., but I have yet to read or hear anyone go through what I faced when trying to get a cancellation of a sealing from my first husband.

I have been married to my current husband for 6 years, and we went through the whole repentance process etc. right after we got married. It took us years to get on the same page in regards to going through the temple to be sealed to each other due to the hassle of all of the letters, interviews, and contacting the ex's that is involved. We finally went through the whole process and began the waiting game in hearing back from the first pres. in "granting" the cancellation. We got our temple recommends & went through the temple for the dead, but we were not allowed to go through and be sealed to each other until we heard back from the first presidency.

A few months into the wait, the stake president came to our house and handed us letters from the first pres. stating that they needed more information. They wanted detailed letters stating all of our sins since we went through the temple for the first time REGARDLESS if it had been repented for already. I was pissed! I refused to write the letter and began looking on the Internet to see if anyone else had a similar experience...and came upon this web site. What a eye opener!

I obviously don't care anymore about the exit letter should take care of that :), I'm just wondering if anyone else went through that?

Subject: Re: my experience canceling a temple sealing....what a joke!
Date: Jul 27 15:52
Author: Idaho Boy
Mail Address:

This obession with peoples sins is nuts. What the hell do they need that for? Do or do they not believe in repentance?


Subject: Re: my experience canceling a temple sealing....what a joke!
Date: Jul 27 16:06
Author: Light Lady
Mail Address:

Yes, I went through this horrible experience. I applied for a temple sealing cancelation, and I about wet my pants in horror and disbelief when I saw the part where you had to write down all of your past sins, regardless of whether or not they had been repented of.

They wanted *details*, least back when I did it in 1992. Do they get their jollies from it all, or what? [reminds me of the time a gal was 'confessing' to her Bishop about a sexual encounter, and he asked her what color her panties were the day she sinned].

All these years I have thought of the injustice of that. It appeared to me that they wanted the gory details so they could judge me all over again - they could look at my sordid past and judge what kind of person I am NOW??? as a result of my PAST???

The thing most appalling is that it completely and totally contradicts the thing they teach all the time, which is:

"The Lord cleanses us from all sin, and makes us white as snow. Once we have repented from our sins, they are washed clean and it is as if they NEVER HAPPENED. The Lord remembers them no more." Yeah....uh huh.

Well, maybe the Lord doesn't remember, but the church sure wants to. I just CRINGE when I think of all the stuff I have put up with. arrrrrrrggggggggghhh!!!!! I actually fell for it. I actually wrote all of that pain down again - every last ounce of it. I fought my feelings of how it was wrong of them to ask these things. After all, the prophet and the church knows best. *pant pant* - okay I'm ticked all over again. I need to take a deep breath and go forget about my sins. hehehe...


Subject: Re: my experience canceling a temple sealing....what a joke!
Date: Jul 27 16:14
Author: starhy
Mail Address:

I'm so glad that there is someone else out there!!! People don't believe me when I tell them about it. I have to show them the letter. It does totally contradict everything that they teach regarding repentance! I've had people call me back after talking to their bishop...or a guy they know in their ward who works at the temple etc. and tell me it's because they are trying to test my faith. Another one I heard was it is because they want to make sure you are worthy. Really?! Why talk to the bishop and stake president then? It doesn't make any sense!!!! They also said that our son couldn't be sealed to my current husband and I because he was already born under the covenant and sealed to me and my ex husband!!!! It just all sounds so stupid now!

Subject: Re: Do you still have the letter?...
Date: Jul 27 16:20
Author: SD
Mail Address:

You should scan it and e-mail it to this site or to the Tanners. It would make a great expose.

Subject: Re: Do you still have the letter?...
Date: Jul 27 16:49
Author: starhy
Mail Address:

Yes I do. I actually met Sandra Tanner a few weeks ago at her book store & told her about it. She wants a copy.

Subject: Please share the letter.
Date: Jul 27 18:21
Author: Holy Joe
Mail Address:

Make a copy of it and black out your personal infomation, scan it and post it. I'm sure that sharing it will help others.

Subject: Good for you! Welcome aboard...
Date: Jul 27 16:14
Author: antishock8


and I'm sorry you had to be treated so poorly. It's a shame that adults treat other adults in such a manner. It really is. Actually, it's disappointing because one would think that adults would be embarrassed to act that way. And yet...we have your story.

I hope you fare well.

Subject: Re: Purity Model
Date: Jul 27 16:23
Author: earthling

So much for the effects of the atonement, right? The Church is all about purity and separation, and unfortunately, compassion and forgiveness have no place in such a religious model, despite the fact that the Lord apparently "remembers our sins no more" when we truly repent. This is all very strange in a church that supposedly bears the name of Jesus Christ, don't you think? It reminds me of the Jewish emphasis on the purity laws in Jesus' day.

Subject: Yet another reason I'm glad I got out when I did
Date: Jul 27 16:26
Author: Fedelm

The divorce from my abusive TBM ex-husband was bad enough, but I'm soooooo glad I escaped both before being "sealed" to him in the temple. He had a major fit when I filed for divorce, and it was good that he at least signed the papers. I'd hate to see him react to a "sealing cancellation." I just consider myself VERY lucky. As of now, I'm getting my sweet revenge by living a very happy life and being involved with a wonderful boyfriend who treats me with respect as a human being and not as some baby machine.

Subject: Give them some of their own medicine...
Date: Jul 27 17:09
Author: Dagny

Tell them you can't remember what sins there were now. When you repented, you were told the Lord would forget them and so could you. So you forgot them and don't have the foggiest idea now what they were.

How can they argue with that?

Those controlling bastards.

Subject: what?? no spirit of discernment with the brethren?...
Date: Jul 27 17:46
Author: danboyle

they claim they're "inspired" and have the holy ghost as a constant companion, yet you need to LIST your past transgressions??

Don't they look silly after one knows the truth about the church and what it is all about??

Glad you came here first and can laugh at them for the silly men they are...

Subject: What an INVASION of your privacy!
Date: Jul 27 18:29
Author: Empowered

OMG...just when you think you've heard it all! I find this truly unbelievable behavior (but, I believe it!)...and I am with Dagny...give them back some of their own medicine exactly as she described!

Subject: I would like to see somebody in this situation...
Date: Jul 27 18:36
Author: pwalters

...stand up to the First Presidency. Call them on their game.

Write a letter back and say, "After much prayerful consideration, and communication with God, we do not feel it necessary to disclose sins with you that we have repented of and confessed to the proper priesthood authority, as outline in the Church Handbook of Instructions. We also recognize that the Lord remembers our sins no more, as outlined in verses (blah blah blah). Thank you for communicating with us on this regard. Please consider the matter of our past sins closed and proceed with the sealing cancellation as requested."

Tell THEM what to do. And then see them wet their pants. I would like to see what letter they return to you.

Now here's a thought: Why do they do this? So that THEY can judge whether a cancellation ought to take place? Are they looking for people to excommunicate?

This is psychopathic.

Subject: Re: I would like to see somebody in this situation...
Date: Jul 27 19:21
Author: wondering

agree with pwalters completely on all points - I was thinking the same. Are they looking for people to ex - why on earth would they care if your sealing was cancelled if you are not members in good standing with their preposterous religion? Does it have something to do with keeping their numbers up? Does it somehow taint the church genealogy records if people cancel their sealings? Unbelievable stuff...

Subject: Excellent suggestion, and great sample letter!
Date: Jul 27 19:44
Author: Deenie, the dreaded single adult

I know that the church leaders will often back down, if you stand up to them firmly enough.:^)

Subject: My experience
Date: Jul 27 19:38
Author: IDTortfeasor


You mentioned this to me a few weeks ago, and I've asked around myself, and no one can come up with a good answer why they asked this.

As for me, when I was remarried in the temple, since I'm the almighty priesthood holder, I didn't need a cancellation, just permission to be sealed again. I haven't sent in my resignation yet, and my ex hasn't remarried in the temple, so technically, I'm still "sealed" to two women.

As a result, technically, my ex's child through her new husband, is considered sealed to me, because she was born under the covenant.

Overall, it doesn't make sense, and now that I no longer believe, I can see it for the bullshit that it is.

By the way, next time you come back to my neck of the woods, there are several exmo friends that I would like you to meet (including Dagny who responded to your post). We try to have lunches here in the Idaho Falls area on a monthly basis or so.

Subject: Re: My experience
Date: Jul 27 20:46
Author: starhy

You polygamist you! :) I was just curious if anyone else had a similar experience....looks like Light Lady has. Did you catch the TBM lurker on this thread? I can understand people with questions logging on to this site, but it's funny that TBM's log on and try to provide us with their "logical" explanations. I have yet to find a good answer to any of the claims against the know stuff like...oh, J.S. meant deer instead of horses, or the "brethern" are just testing your faith. I guess I failed that test. THANK GOD!!! If I can talk my husband into it next time we are in "your neck of the woods" I'd like to maybe go out to dinner with you and your wife. My husband is still having a hard time with this whole thing so I'm not sure if he'd be willing to or not. He's read our e-mails and your post and kind of on the fence right now. Only time will tell.

Subject: Re: My experience
Date: Jul 28 00:56
Author: IDTortfeasor

That's the nice thing about truth. If your husband continues to have an open mind, eventually he'll figure it out. Its a process, as you know, and sometimes a tough one.

By the way, if you remained TBM, and decided to disclose all of your sins to some old men in Salt Lake, then I'm proud to say your list (probably short) wouldn't have included me...

Darn it.

Now, you have a great husband, beautiful children, and freedom. Don't forget, you also get TBM lurkers calling you evil. Gotta love it.

Subject: Give them exactly what they ask for...AND MORE!
Date: Jul 28 02:35
Author: Wacker

So, they want details? Comply totally! Go get an old "Penthouse Forum" and use all the explicit, detailed language you can find.

"The Silky smooth x#^7#24 ... and the "Glistening Hard ^*@%$#@'... Our two throbbing bodies ... The participating cat ... Our Front Lawn open to the neighbors at noon..."

Then end it with: "But I've totally repented now and have my full testimony back. I hope you'll make me the local Bishop again."

(P.S. More details on request.)

Subject: Re: my experience canceling a temple sealing....what a joke!
Date: Jul 27 21:26
Author: Laur

You could write 100 more letters but they might not necessarily let you get sealed to your second husband.

What they came up with about 25 years ago was that if people commit adultery they cannot be sealed to the person they commited the adultery with.

So if that's your case you've got an uphill battle.

In fact, I'm aware of a case where NO adultery was committed, the people simply fell in love and divorced their respective spouses and married each other. No premarital sex was involved.

And yet, these two people were never able to get sealed to each other although they each got their temple recommends back and, incredibly, are temple workers.

It's a stupid cult with power plays and you're better off out of it.

Subject: Be thankful they no longer charge for it
Date: Jul 27 23:10
Author: bull

Or do they?

Brigham Young used to charge for cancellations of sealings. Church patriarchs used to get paid for giving patriarchical blessings. This led to the curious practice of them encouraging members to get multiple blessings so they could keep a stream of income coming in. Funny how the church criticizes Catholicism's old practice of endulgences...

Subject: My experience ... just the opposite
Date: Jul 28 00:38
Author: Still sealed

I've been divorced over eight years (inactive over ten). Posts like this cause me to reflect how utterly guilible I used to be regarding The Church. My ex-husband was remarried two weeks after our divorce was final to [drum roll] ... a member in my former ward who he was assigned to home teach. I guess he taught her the principles of the gospel.

Well, a few months later, I get a letter telling me that he's getting sealed to the manic woman. I wrote a letter back to his bishop that he wasn't current on his support, but that didn't matter to anyone since I was not temple worthy (Oh dear, was it the alcohol, sex, or not paying tithing?). I even got a letter of explanation from the Fallic symbol on North Temple that stated they were granting his request. This upset me considerably at the time and I dealt with it at the bars on weekends without my children.

I can say that I've successfully recovered now. I no longer spend weekend nights at the bar. I drink a glass or two of wine during the week - at home. I chuckle that I used to believe that we'd all be sealed and living in the eternities together - millions and millions of people with the lesser angels being servants to us. However, if I hear him calling, "Huldah," in the hereafter, I'm gonna puke! You know that I'm still sealed to him. I guess I need to think of a good retort to that dreaded new name. Hmmmm ...

Subject: An issue of power and control...
Date: Jul 28 00:52
Author: SheWhoHasNoName

While I suspect that part of this requirement is that they just get their jollies out of reading the juicy details of such "confessions", I think that most of it has to do with power and control. That is, those who demand these confessions get off on the idea that they can control people, that they (think they) have the power to tell people to do things, no matter how distasteful and those people will just do it, no questions asked. Somebody likened it to the Taliban, and I think that's not far from the truth.

Subject: Same thing for getting priesthood restored...
Date: Jul 28 02:52
Author: Neophi

It's official policy that if a male wants his priesthood restored after getting rebaptized, he will have to get an interview with a GA {Mormon leader in SLC}. During the interview he will have to state ALL his past sins, including those committed before the rebaptism. Doesn't make sense, does it? Wasn't baptism meant to make someone "white as driven snow"?
It's also official policy that someone who has once been excommunicated will ALWAYS have a note on his/her membership record. So-called "higher" callings will forever be outside his/her reach.
This is all so stupid and it's what really started me thinking about the humongous contradictions between what they teach and what they do.
Mormons, get your act together!

Related topics:
13. Non-Mormon and Garments 15. Temple Divorces
19. Feel Ugly in Temple Clothing? 32. The Changing Temple
33. First Time to the Temple 42. Washing and Anointings
 44. Stopped wearing garments 66. Secret or Sacred?
127 Temple Marriage Ceremony 155  New Names Given in the Temple
165  Not allowed to the Temple Wedding 169  Can Temple Ordinances be Changed?
234  Changing Rules? Temple Marriages 238  She Can't Stand The Temple 
243  Temple Hype Versus Reality  285  First Time to Temple II
288. Protestant Minister Pre-1990 Endowment 293 Excluded from Children's  Wedding
301 Speaking Publicly about the Temple 306 Temples are Running out of Names
331 The Temple Endowment not Changed per Apologist 339 Temple Marriage vs. Traditional

Recovery from Mormonism - The Mormon Church -   

Listing of additional short Topics  |  Main Page