|Subject:||RMs, did anyone else have nightmares about being called to a second mission?|
|Date:||Mar 08, 2008|
|An earlier post about the last day of the mission
brought back a memory.
I considered my mission good and enjoyable. I understand that others had different experiences.
Because I enjoyed my mission mostly, I was disturbed by reoccurring dreams/nightmares I had for about ten or so years following my mission. In these dreams I would be called to serve another mission. But this time, my situation was not as a single nineteen year old, but in my present condition – married with children and working. In the dreams, I usually accepted the calling but felt horrified about having to leave my family and work, unsure of how they would be supported. In these dreams, I never wanted to go – it was always an act of obedience. I was always happy when I awoke to realize it was all just a bad dream.
Did anyone else have these sorts of dreams?
|Date:||Mar 08 16:02|
|my mish was 50% misery, 50% great. I love France and
go back frequently.
it seemed that around 10 years I started having the dreams of getting called back, and I was sick. LOVED waking up and knowing it was a dream.
THAT was when I started going back to vacation. haven't had the dreams much since, but there was a time that I had a few times a month...
perhaps going back would help?
|Subject:||I've been back a couple of times|
|Date:||Mar 08 16:12|
|And really enjoyed the visits. I continued to have the "dreams" even after visiting. I don't have them anymore - its been about 21 years since I returned and three years since I left the church.|
|Subject:||I had one of these a couple of months ago|
|Date:||Mar 08 21:05|
|In this dream, my friend, the current bishop of the
LDS ward, delivers the call to me. I look at him dumbfounded. I ask him how
I could possibly serve a mission when I don't believe any of it at all. He
tells me to just go on it and that it doesn't matter if I believe or not.
The feeling is one of powerlessness to turn down the calling and frustration
of having to go do something completely at odds with one's convictions.
This latest dream was in contrast to my actual feelings when I left for my real mission. I believed in the church and its claims and never felt any part of deception. I might have felt compelled to go - as do all LDS young men.
|Subject:||same thing happened to me|
|Date:||Mar 08 16:02|
|I had that recurring bad dream for years after i left
the church. sad and scary every time. i too had a relatively positive
mission experience. i'm a girl, so i didn't get the pressure that most guys
get about going on a mission, and i was really excited to go. weird how in
the dream i was convinced there was no getting out of it, i was being forced
to go on this second mission.
i wonder how common this kind of bad dream is among former missionaries?
|Subject:||Re: RMs, did anyone else have nightmares about being called to a second mission?|
|Date:||Mar 08 16:02|
|Yes, I had those dreams for many years. I would find myself back as a missionary and feel trapped and hopeless. It was like a nightmare and I've seen past discussions on here about this being a symptom of PTSD.|
|Subject:||Oh yeah! In my 20's and into my 30's. Haven't had one in years. n/t|
|Subject:||YES, exactly like you describe, only stopped when I realized the church was bunk...nt|
|Date:||Mar 08 17:20|
|I disliked my mission and was browbeaten by the mish president for not extending another 6 weeks. After I returned home, I kept having this nightmare that I was called to another mission. I was feeling guilty for not having extended and thought that the nightmares was a punishment from God. I never imagined other people would have them as well.|
|Subject:||LOL - I have that dream every once in a great while.|
|Date:||Mar 08 19:13|
|FWIW, I somehow get roped into it and end up in Rio.
After a bit of annoyed conversation with myself ("How the HELL did you ever
let yourself get talked into this!"), I ditch my comp and head for some
other city, or beach, or whatever.
I hope to have the dream a few more times. There is more of the country I'd like to see. :)
Oh, and I've been out for 30 some years. That did not stop the dreams, but they only seem to occur a couple times a decade or so.
|Date:||Mar 08 19:17|
|Had them over a period of maybe 20 years, but they changed in nature over time. At first I'd be panicked. Then I was mad. Finally I had a fuck-this-I'm-out-of-here-you-fools attitude. I don't remember the last time I had one of these dreams.|
|Subject:||Yes - Nightmare time all right|
|Date:||Mar 08 19:56|
|I served in the early 70's. A mission is the best kept secret in the church. Now " they " are starting the "when you retire" B.S of going on another one. I still haven't recovered from my first one.|
|Subject:||Getting it right this time.|
|Date:||Mar 08 20:06|
|That's how my 2nd mission dreams always were. I was getting a second chance to get it right. In the dream, I would go out into the mission field and work really hard, but then I would start to burn out and then I couldn't keep it up. It was a very agonizing dream.|
|Subject:||Even my Ultra-TBM brother has admitted to having such a nightmare! nt|
|Subject:||Yes, but they're finally getting rare|
|Date:||Mar 08 20:38|
|I used to get them several times a year. They usually
would start where I'm on the plane to the mission area and I look around and
see my roommates fromt he MTC (the real time). I've been on nightmare
missions to Egypt, China, and many other places, as well as back to my real
mission area of Argentina.
The longer I've been away from the church, the shorter these dreams have gotten. I used to dream that I would start serving, wondering how I would ever communicate with these people because I had somehow skipped the MTC this time. As the dream wore on, the realization would hit me that I had not volunteered to do this and in fact had no idea how I came to be on an international flight.
Now whenever the dream starts, as SOON as I realize it's another mission dream. I start telling anybody who'll listen that the very second that plane lands, I'm getting myself on a plane back home. I let them know that I did NOT sign up for this one and I have NO intention of doing it. They are very short dreams now, if they come at all. Whew!
|Date:||Mar 08 20:54|
|Years ago I thought I was the only person to have
these nightmares - going back to Finland on a mission for a second time. In
some of these dreams, it was a second mission. In other dreams, I went back
to fulfill some paperwork that was lost that had documented that I had
served the first mission. I would wake up sweating.
This could be a great subject for an MS Thesis on cult programming.
|Subject:||No, but the thought of going on a couples mission...|
|Date:||Mar 08 21:43|
|was part of the incentive to get to the bottom of
Mormonism. My wife is an RM and would regularly speak of looking forward to
being missionaries together. I never said anything, but I could hardly stand
the thought of it. It made me squirm inside.
Even though I hadn't yet taken the time to delve into Mormon history, my doubts built up slowly on an intuitive level. It was the 5,000th trip on the Mormon merry-go-round and the scenery hadn't changed. I thought there was supposed to be some kind of progression to it. Eventually, the thought of going on another mission made me start screaming inside. Then my wife and daughter started bugging me about my weak "testimony". I endeavored to get to the bottom of it and the rest is history.
|Subject:||Yes -- on several occasions I had such dreams.|
|Date:||Mar 08 21:44|
|They continued over a period of about 20 years. It has now been a long time since I have had one -- I guess the missionary spell has been broken.|
|Subject:||Yes, on many occasions. n/t.|
|Subject:||I've had that same exact dream a few times|
|Date:||Mar 09 00:16|
|I thought I was the only one. I'd dream I was back in
the mission field for a second time, but I was my current age... and I was
pissed! I couldn't believe I had been sucked into it a second time!
When I woke up in the morning I was so relieved. Interesting to see so many other people having this same dream. Is this really a sign of PTSD?? Interesting because my dreams didn't start until about 15 years after I got home. (About the time I was distancing myself from the church. Coincidence??)
|Subject:||Yes, many times ...|
|Date:||Mar 09 00:29|
|Author:||Mark (was "Still Active")|
|For me too it was probably for about 10 years after my mission - into my early 30s. I'd have dreams where a calling to a second mission was extended and I struggled with it because it didn't fit in with my current life/plans, and other times I'd actually be on a second mission and was really struggling with family situations I'd left behind that I felt I needed to be taking care of rather than being on a mission, etc. These were always effectively nightmares and I'd wake up very relieved to realize it was just a dream.|
|Subject:||Yup. Never been so glad to wakeup. n/t|
|Subject:||Odell, I have the exact same dream|
|Date:||Mar 09 00:49|
|I have been home for 21 years and dream, about once a
month, that I am called again and that I report to the MTC. I never end up
going, but I make it to the MTC and then head home to my wife and kids.
I think it is a subconscious way of dealing with the fact that I enjoyed, for the most part, my mission at the time and now look back wishing I had lived my life differently.
Thankfully, I never make it back into the field.
|Subject:||Count me in|
|Date:||Mar 09 01:32|
|I have not had one in years (in my 40s now) but I
would have dreams of being called as a missionary once more.
It was a nightmare.
|Subject:||Yes, and I still have them after 30 years!!!! N/T|
|Subject:||My heart goes out to you guys . . . .|
|Date:||Mar 09 01:54|
|You did the best that you knew how at the time. You
lived a good life for the values and community you were raised in.
You did the *right* thing for you, your family, and ward friends at the time. It does make me incredibly sad that even one-to-two decades off of your missions you are still experiencing thes PTSD symptoms.
Yes, that's what it's called. God bless your little hearts (and I can say that because I'm not an athiest yet). Find someone to get you through this, guys. Your wives would be ideal if they could put their loyalty aside to TSCC to help you -- their husbands!
What a mess. The Mormons just create messes, IMO, and then spend *decades* trying to clean them up. Right now the church is creating yet ANOTHER new mess!
Lord. I can't think about it anymore. Honestly, it's not my problem.
Join us on the "dark side." HaHaHaHa! I was scared spitless at first to talk to ex-mos. I thought a dark spirit would jump off of them and possess me.
It's all good. You boys will *all* be okay.
|Subject:||They are becoming less frequent but yes, they still occur|
|Date:||Mar 09 03:06|
|And it is going on 40 years since I got home. I have been out of the Morg for about 16 years though.|
|Subject:||Yes, in many variations, although interestingly not lately.|
|Date:||Mar 09 03:09|
|I think most of them have stopped since I resigned,
and the few I have had have been too weakly related to the actual mission
experience to quite count as a mission dream.
However, my worst nightmare along these lines involved me waking up in the dream itself and finding myself sitting on the lower bunk of a bunkbed, being awoken by some random elder, telling me that I've overslept and that it's time to get going.
I ask him where I am, and he tells me that I'm on my mission (duh!), and I repeat, asking specifically *where*. And he replies that it's the Argentina Buenos Aires South Mission.
Then I sit up and say to him: "Hey, wait, that's impossible. I served my mission in France!"
And he replies that that's so, but I missed a few months, so the Brethren have sent me back into the field. Trouble is, there weren't any French openings, so they sent me to Argentina instead.
I protested that I don't speak Spanish, but he simply repeats that I'll be fine and I need to get ready.
At this point in the dream, I finally REALLY wake up, sit straight up, and start running down my list of mission towns and months served (including the MTC), and sure enough, it only adds up to about 22 months.
Panicked, I figure that this interlude might be a dream too, and so I start racking my brains for the missing town. It took me about 10 minutes to remember Chartres! (Arrgh.)
Needless to say, I'm glad that I don't get that kind of vivid dream anymore!