Recovery Board  : RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 

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7 months ago
want2bx
Tithing plays a role in this. Another factor is the social pressure Utah Mormons may feel to create an illusion of wealth. There seems to be a lot of "keeping up with the Joneses (or Smiths)" in Utah. Mormonism is a prosperity gospel. If you're righteous, you'll be blessed. Purchasing a large home, boat, camper and the latest SUV, whether you can afford it or not, creates an illusion of
Forum: Recovery Board
7 months ago
want2bx
It always seems like the priesthood leader (it's never a woman) who they choose to teach about budgeting, finances and the importance of paying tithing first, is someone who is quite wealthy. I remember a stake conference where I was in the foyer with my infant daughter, but I could hear the talks. I was positioned where I could look out the window and see the parking lot and the reserved park
Forum: Recovery Board
7 months ago
want2bx
Franke's business partner, Jodi Hildebrandt, who was also arrested, is completely nuts too. She is a therapist who did group and individual therapy sessions. A friend of mine has family members who got involved with her within the last several years. I've heard lots of stories about Hildebrandt's "therapy." It was very cruel, "tough love" therapy and my friend's family complet
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8 months ago
want2bx
In my area, wards usually only cover the cost of meat for a funeral lunch. It's usually ham. Like you said, only close family is invited. So basically, the church pays for a Costco ham or two. All the sides and desserts are donated by ward members. Yep, the LDS church is cheap.
Forum: Recovery Board
8 months ago
want2bx
I have mixed feelings when I see or hear that the church has made or might make changes for the better. On one hand, no one should be told what underwear to wear and how to wear it. On the other hand, when the church softens and caves in certain areas, members soon forget about the past and think that the new way is how things have always been. Those who remind them of the old Mormonism are liars
Forum: Recovery Board
8 months ago
want2bx
Even before I read the article, I assumed that a door to the church was probably open. LDS churches, at least in Utah County, are almost always open during the day. I could probably walk down the street right now and find an open door at the LDS church near me. Lots of ward members have keys. People are in and out during the day to practice the organ, play basketball and clean. Doors usually aren
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8 months ago
want2bx
n/t
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8 months ago
want2bx
Anti-Mormon
Forum: Recovery Board
8 months ago
want2bx
Very true. In the last GC, Nelson gave a talk about peacemaking and treating others with kindness. It was actually good advice, but Mormons went nuts over it, calling it "divine inspiration" and so forth. Nothing that Nelson said was new, unique or prophetic. It's probably the message on many Sundays at churches throughout the world. It's because the message was different from the same
Forum: Recovery Board
8 months ago
want2bx
I remember a story that circulated in Mormon circles years ago. I recall that there was either a talk in GC or an Ensign article about it. There was opposition in a city (I can't remember where) with a temple that the church wanted to construct. The story goes that instead of fighting with residents and city leaders, church leaders felt like they shouldn't contribute to contention and that it
Forum: Recovery Board
8 months ago
want2bx
Invite or invitation Using these words implies that there's a choice on the part of the invitee. But in Mormonism, it's just a way that you're told what to do. "We invite all members of the ward to sign up for tithing settlement." Translation: If you don't sign up for tithing settlement this week, the ward executive secretary will call to tell you that the bishop has two op
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8 months ago
want2bx
Temple service Tithing donations
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8 months ago
want2bx
Many also don't know that it's Kirtland, Ohio not Kirkland, Costco's brand.
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9 months ago
want2bx
You're right. Mormonism has pretty much been reduced to rehashing General Conference talks. The topics for sacrament meeting talks and lessons generally come straight from the most recent conference. Church leaders only care that the membership is following what they said in the last six months.
Forum: Recovery Board
9 months ago
want2bx
What a heartbreaking story. About 15 years ago, I had a YW calling in a Utah County ward. We had an "ask the bishop" night where the girls placed anonymous questions in a box and the bishop answered them. One of the questions asked whether it was ok to date non-Mormons in high school. The answer was "no." I spoke up and stated that it seemed awfully cruel considering that m
Forum: Recovery Board
9 months ago
want2bx
Tim Ballard and OUR may be doing some good in the world, but there is controversy surrounding him and his organization. In the past couple of years, I have listened to a few podcasts and read several articles about Tim Ballard and OUR. There are a variety of complaints about the organization. From what I remember, there have been accusations that Ballard misuses donations to OUR. In addition,
Forum: Recovery Board
9 months ago
want2bx
I always find it interesting when people say that they stay in the church for the social aspect. I have a few Mormon friends and family members who are truly wonderful people, but I have found them to be the exception in Mormonism, not the rule. I don't need to be part of the church to maintain those relationships because they're true friends. I've lived in Utah for most of my adult life and I
Forum: Recovery Board
10 months ago
want2bx
My TBM MIL gets huffy and rude when we're out to dinner and the server asks if she would like to see a wine list or would like coffee with her meal. Instead of just saying, "No thank you," She'll say something like, "Absolutely not! Nobody at this table wants anything like that." She expects that the Mormon halo above her head should be easily recognized.
Forum: Recovery Board
10 months ago
want2bx
Yeah, if the teen had skipped his released time seminary class to have sex with his girlfriend, would his parents have tried to sue the church?
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10 months ago
want2bx
This is a very basic, simple reason, but I think a lot of Mormons stick with the church simply because they're just not listening and paying attention. When I was on my way out of the church, I remember there being a lot of talks and church "counsel" that I found questionable or pretty offensive. I'm sure that it was there all along, but I had just tuned a lot of it out. When I tried
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10 months ago
want2bx
I listened to a recent Mormon Stories episode where John Dehlin read something from a stake financial clerk. The clerk stated that his stake received approximately $230k in donations per month from the wards in his stake. Those donations were sent to Salt Lake and then the stake receives $9k back per quarter with which to run the stake. So the stake contributes almost 2.8 million and received $36
Forum: Recovery Board
10 months ago
want2bx
The church always points to the importance of witnesses to the gold plates and B of M and proof that the church is true. "No one would put their name on something saying that they had seen something when they hadn't," they say. And here we are. People who signed something when they probably knew very little about it because someone told them to.
Forum: Recovery Board
10 months ago
want2bx
Although not as expensive as California, Utah and Idaho have become expensive as well. A two or three bedroom condo in the Salt Lake area runs in the $350k-$400k range. I suspect that many young families just won’t be able to afford to live here either.
Forum: Recovery Board
11 months ago
want2bx
And what about the "mistakes" that members make? Is the church quick to offer grace and forgive and forget when a member slips up? Members are judged harshly for not falling in line with all the rules. Temple recommends are confiscated. Excommunication courts are held. Why should church leaders expect understanding and forgiveness for their mistakes (or in this case deliberate acts)
Forum: Recovery Board
11 months ago
want2bx
It offers structure. Mormonism spells everything out and it teaches its members "how to be" in nearly every aspect of their lives. Some people like the security that comes with structure. They like answers to questions in life that can't really be answered. They like being told what to believe and how to act. They like the idea that they can do "A" and can expect "B"
Forum: Recovery Board
11 months ago
want2bx
My local ward does the walk about thing too. It’s an attempt at creating a social activity. A few families in the ward host and they place a table with cookies and punch (or more likely water) in their yards. You’re supposed to walk to a hosting house or two and visit with neighbors and ward members along the way and get a treat.
Forum: Recovery Board
11 months ago
want2bx
I recently read a story about a woman whose patriarchal blessing told her to keep her opinions to herself. Mine doesn't say that, but when I received my blessing, the patriarch spent a lot of time talking and "counseling" me before and after the blessing. He told me several times that he was prompted to tell me that any ideas or opinions I may have during my life should most often be ke
Forum: Recovery Board
11 months ago
want2bx
You point out a very important aspect of Mormonism that probably very few Mormons ever think about. In the Mormon narrative, Jesus Christ basically failed at establishing His gospel on the earth. Joseph Smith was required to fix something that Christ couldn't keep on the earth for more than a handful of years.
Forum: Recovery Board
12 months ago
want2bx
For my birthday when I was a child, my grandmother would send me a birthday card with a five dollar bill enclosed. The card was usually intercepted by my mother who would replace the five dollar bill with four one dollar bills and a dollar in change so that I could pay tithing on the gift.
Forum: Recovery Board
12 months ago
want2bx
Like most Mormons, I’m sure this woman would also insist that the LDS church is a church of agency.
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