Thanks so much for your good advice. I do think he's attractive, and, try as I might to forget him, I still think he's likeable. The thing that really sets him apart from any other guy I've dated or corresponded with was the fact that he honestly seemed to want someone stimulating, and he found me stimulating. It seemed much more important to him then how I looked, and I'm slender, and people
Forum: Recovery Board

I just met a guy I found online at Match.com this past Saturday. He actually was who he said he was, and was looking for someone he described as "intelligent, deep and real". Well, he certainly doesn't lack confidence, and I felt he was actually quite full of himself. He does, however, still believe in a Supreme Being, as do I, and after talking for 3 hours straight, we ended our ch
Forum: Recovery Board

I haven't gone to church in over a decade, and I have no desire to go back. This past decade has been extremely liberating and enlightening, and I wouldn't trade what I've learned about TSSC for the world. Problem is, I still live in Mormon headquarters (SLC). I'm not part of the culture now, and have found it's hard to find other people my age and status (single and 52) to hang out with.
Forum: Recovery Board

My life has changed so drastically in the last decade since leaving Mormonism. I've grown in so many ways, but it has come at a price. I don't have people to hang out with that have the same belief system as mine. I'm a 50-something, single, and would love to hear from anyone in the same boat, or suggestions on how to meet new friends. Hapeheretic
Forum: Recovery Board

My sister went through the same process when she and my bro-in-law decided to go back to church. She'd been pretty loose (according to church standards) in her youth, and had lost her virginity in college. She had, however, confessed these things to her bishop. Her new bishop pressed her for details about stuff she'd done all the way back to her teens, much of what she probably confessed.
Forum: Recovery Board

I remember hearing so many "urban legends" about Ouija boards. One involved a person that was so rattled by using it, that he threw it away. The next morning, he said it was back on the closet shelf in his room. Another person said they tried to burn the thing, and it screamed! Pretty good stuff to talk about at slumber parties with a flashlight under your chin. Personally,
Forum: Recovery Board

As others have said, ultimately, it's your call, but IMHO, you really don't owe him an explanation for your absence, especially after such a relatively short period of time. It sounds like you're at a vunerable stage, and you don't deserve to be interrogated or summoned by any church authority. I'd like to present many people (members of my family included) with all that I've found out abou
Forum: Recovery Board

Like others have said, who really knows if NDE's are real? I guess the only diffinative way to know is to have one yourself,and then, many people would question it on scientific/biological grounds. However, I read a book by Dr. Raymond Moody entitled, "Life after Life" in which he interviewed a wide cross section of people who'd been declared legally dead and been revived. These pe
Forum: Recovery Board

Well..let'slook at the menu: funeral potatoes, green jello with shredded carrots, and dump cake. Sounds delicious, doesn't it? How about none of the above?
Forum: Recovery Board

Just be there for her. Hug her, let her cry on your shoulder. Offer it for her after the funeral, and tell her if she needs to talk, you'll listen.
Forum: Recovery Board

I'm so sorry for your pain. I know what it's like to be ostracized by "mean girls" in the ward. But, I have to say, the reason you probably never fitted in was because, on some level, you saw through the bull. As a convert, you were actually lucky, because you weren't brainwashed from birth to act and think a certain way. Individuality is STRONGLY frown upon by the church and its
Forum: Recovery Board

I guess this is the wave of the future, internet evites. Convenient, but the pic and all the info looked more like a website, complete with links, instead of a wedding invitation. I thought it was cold and completely tacky, regardless of whether they were Mo's or not. JMHO>
Forum: Recovery Board

Mark Twain was quoted as saying, "The Book of Mormon is chloroform in print". After seven reads, I'm surprised you didn't go into a coma;)
Forum: Recovery Board

There are so many TBMs that absolutely let their kids run wild. Maybe they're so overwhelmed with so many children, they tune them out. The library near my home is one of the noisiest places ON EARTH. Mothers bring their broods (including crying infants or toddlers) and stand casually at the help desk, conversing with the librarian or loading up on children's books while their kids wail, s
Forum: Recovery Board

It's hard to try to be polite in these matters, but remember, they're intruding, however well-intended, on your property, privacy, and free time. If they show up, don't let them in. Say something like, "I'm really busy with other things right now, and I'm not going to the single's ward anymore." Period. If they persist, you may have to be direct and say, "I know you are trying
Forum: Recovery Board

I understand about needing a therapist as a teen. I have severe OCD, and it got reallly bad by the time I reached my senior year in high school. The pressures of the LDS church about things like morality, purity, etc. drove me to a state of mind that made me delusional. I still go to therapy, and I'm middle-aged, but it does help and my therapist is a wonderful former Mormon who understands
Forum: Recovery Board

Kudos to you, Dorothy, and anyone else who lives in the wake of a loved one's suicide. I can understand days when breathing is about all I can do, and I'm hyperventilating at that. I attempted suicide as a TBM. I had crushing depression and a debilitating case of OCD, based on guilt/worthiness issues of the LDS church. I've been hospitalized numerous times, and spent 18 months in a group h
Forum: Recovery Board

I haven't officially resigned, but I haven't bothered to go for over a decade, and I've never felt better. I think it can take some time to effect change. Just like durin the Civil Rights movement, you can change laws, but not always change minds. As in bigoted, misogynistic, authoritarian, homophobic, etc. Still, who would have thought, back in the 50's and 60's we'd have an African-Amer
Forum: Recovery Board

I really sympathize with your situation. But, you understand, by pulling away from Mormonism, that a kind, benevolent God and Christ would NOT create a dogmatic, domineering "Big Brother" organization. You get it. It's so hard to understand all this and have to deal with important relationships with people who are staunchly planted in a system you've found oppressive and perhaps, jus
Forum: Recovery Board

I understand about having an epiphany. One morning, I was drinking my coffee, and I had one. I savored the taste of the drink in my mouth, and burst out laughing. It almost came out of my nose. This is supposed to be bad? A simple, non-intoxicating beverage? Why? There are a myriad of do's and don'ts in Mormonism, and most other organized religions. The dogma and control of the lead
Forum: Recovery Board

I understand you're in a sincerely painful situation. It sounds like more than just falling out of love. Your whole belief system has been turned on its head, and that's what's supposed to be the cornerstone of any good TBM marriage. You didn't say if you were actually in a relationship with another woman. I know these things can and do happen to the best of people, and I've been attracted
Forum: Recovery Board

I have been inactive for 10 years now, and it's been the best choice for my peace of mind that I've ever made. I tried so hard to be "good", according the the church's definition, I literally went crazy. I didn't just run away, either. I studied my way out. My dad's been inactive for over 40 years, and admitted to me he just never really believed it. He was raised in St. George,
Forum: Recovery Board

I remember back in the '80's the First Presidency came out with a statement that referred to oral sex as an "unnatural" practice that should be avoided, even within marriage". I remember there was a big backlash about this, and a woman in my ward actually stood up in RS and complained about it. I heard other stories about people surrendering their temple recommends in droves.
Forum: Recovery Board

I'd look this neighbor, if she EVER tries that again, right in the in the eye and say, "Why is your husband staring at a 14 year old girl anyway? If a skirt a few inches above the knee on young girl barely into her teens is "tempting" him, he's got a serious problem". I'd suggest she check his computer for sexual e-mails to young girls.
Forum: Recovery Board

Standard's nights were bigtime indoctrination fests. I remember one woman standing up,eyes blazing, wagging her finger at all the YW and saying, "NO PETTING!!" At the time, I was taken aback, Now, I think that poor woman's hysterical, in the figurative and literal sense. It was pretty scary and crazy at the time, though, when I was the ripe old age of 14.
Forum: Recovery Board

I think the ulimate "bad guy" was the guy that supposedly translated it. Bro.Joseph Smith.
Forum: Recovery Board

I agree that confessing to the bishop can be extremely arbitrary and possibly abusive, which I believe makes it a very harmful practice. Some bishops will simply hear the confession, give some advice to the confesser (read scriptures, pray) and tell them to forgive themselves and go home and have a good night's rest, while others will demand a full inventory of all sexual thoughts and behavio
Forum: Recovery Board

I think there will be a best possible outcome that doesn't involve the two members under fire in terms of their stated positions on ordaining women and the treatment of gays in the church. I think the media backlash caused by the church's response to these individuals is going to expose how harsh and punitive Mormonism is to members to dare to speak their minds. I think regardless of whether t
Forum: Recovery Board

I heard about a missionary who I guess had a nervous breakdown on his mission, and ended up in a mental hospital. The poor guy would still put on a suit and sing hymns in his room. He just about drove his gay roommate crazy (or crazier than he was, probably because of what the church did to him).
Forum: Recovery Board

The leaders refer to excommunication as "a court of love". What is loving about raking someone over the coals, humiliating them, kicking them out of the church, and saying something like that? All I can say to them is this: What would Jesus do? Crack open your KJV of the New Testament, and read your scriptures, as you've been told. He forgave, forgave, forgave,and NEVER drag
Forum: Recovery Board