I feel so incredibly duped by the Mormon Church

by myselfagain Feb 2012

It's week 2 into my leaving TSCC [this so called church] saga. The first week I just felt so incredibly relieved and thrilled that I was going to be true to myself and not some guy with a 'mantle' who does not know what is good for me. Now, I am in the feeling really stupid phase.

My DH [dear husband] also joined when I did. He was hoping to be able to continue tithing, and I wasn't sure yet how I felt. After researching more on this site (bless you all for being so open and friendly!) and others and reading about City Creek, the new hotel in Hawaii, and the LDS owned hunting facilities and what a major business TSCC is, we both agree we have paid our last tithe - ever.

Now I can see just how long suffering and patient my non LDS family has been! I know they thought we were crazy but they always for the most part didn't interfere. They made their preferences known, but I always had their love and respect. The craziness stops right here! So many things are opening up to us, and I feel ashamed of trying so hard to be what I thought was right. Some things I never did get a testimony of; VT spying, Joseph Smith, polygamy and marrying 14 year olds, and so much more. I hope I can be kind to myself as this journey continues. I really feel so dumb and gullible right now. I am not stupid, either. I have a good mind, but I think in retrospect that I wanted it to be real. Now it doesn't matter- I am finding out for myself.

Thank ALL of you for listening.

Re: I feel so incredibly duped
I'm glad the forum has been a big help to you as it has to me.

Re: I feel so incredibly duped
I guess I should feel no surprise that a lot of us have been where I am now. I feel so "clear" for lack of a better word.

CA girl
Re: I feel so incredibly duped
Don't feel dumb. You were duped by experts who took your own personal feelings and needs and used them to control you. Also, there are good elements in Mormonism that are attractive. And the church is expert at hiding the bad, damning information. I was in the church for 30 years because I loved the idea of working for a cause and having a loving family. Those were good goals but I got taken advantage of because of my good intentions. And I didn't think to research their claims...and I'm a JOURNALIST. Geez, you'd think I would double check my facts, if anyone would.

I'll bet you are in a similar situation - wanting good things and having that hijacked by people who lied. It's easy to feel dumb - so did I. But what you should be feeling is BRAVE. Incredibly courageous. Do you know how hard it is for most people to really look at their lives and admit where there are problems and make the necessary changes? Most people get hung up on one of those steps but you didn't. So you can feel dumb for a little while longer, if you must, but what I want you to feel is brave and full of character. Because that is a much more accurate assessment of who you are and what you are doing.

Good luck!

Re: I feel so incredibly duped

Wow...thank you. This all started a couple of years back. I lost my parents, a sister, got cancer, (and with 1 or 2 notable exceptions the ward powers-that-be didn't give a fig. I still was asked to do incredibly rough callings and yes, I did them.) I went to counseling, wondering why I was so miserable and my incredible therapist helped me realize that I had a right to live MY authentic life. I have worked hard for that! So now, with my new strength, my authenticity has led me out of the church. I suppose this will be a series of ups and downs, but I have no regrets, and the rest of my life starts right here! I appreciate your kind words. :-)

Re: I feel so incredibly duped
I agree CA girl, you should feel brave for finally coming to this conclusion and willing to face the truth and see it. I too went through many many stages and day to day it changed with me. Feel these emotions and don't be afraid of them.

My first three months was spent just reading(mainly this website) (I was only 22, had just graduated from BYU-I) I was in total shock and wanted to get my facts straight...I became obsessed with reading on it, and had no one physically to talk about it with. I faked it for a little over a year, telling my family I was going to singles wards, but really wasn't. If I could do it over again I would tell everyone up front what I found and how mad I was. Looking back, I just wasn't strong enough to do that. It took me over two years to speak out against the money hungry church.

My best to you, and congratulations!

Raptor Jesus
We all do dumb things from time to time.
Sometimes we do really really big stupid things.

As you grieve, you'll eventually move past these feelings. Other feelings will replace them.

It's ok to grieve.

Re: I feel so incredibly duped
Know how you feel. This forum has changed my life. And now I'm bitter at the damn Morg. Morg is an awesome term by the way. Haha love star trek
You're not alone.

red pill
Re: I feel so incredibly duped
Yes, you were duped as I was, but we thought our way out of it. You are intelligent and rational. I always tell my self, "at least it didn't go any longer." I look at my parents pushing 70, retire working full time for the church and don't know how to live life.

All my non mormon friends and coworkers are all very suportive and complementary that I left. Start telling normal people that you left and you might be suprised of the reaction and support. They love hearing all the dirt on the church first hand. I have helped many people understand their mormon relatives and understand the church from a true perspective.

The other thing that brings me comfort, is that I broke the eternal chain of mormonism in my branch of the tree. My 5 kids will not have to endure the experience I had.

Great job!

Tabula Rasa
Re: I feel so incredibly duped
Welcome to the club!


Re: I feel so incredibly duped
i know how you feel .i to feel stupid for being led along by all the lies .and how you are made to feel guilty .but you do need to tell people you have left you will get surport .i found out how many of my friends and family felt about the mormons and many were realy happy for me, so im trying now to see how much better my life is without all that crap .its hard i know but dont beat your self up . today is the first day of the rest of your life .be free and enjoy it

I believed this once, years ago..
Re: I feel so incredibly duped
I had waves of intense anger for about two years.. I could not believe JS pulled that @#$%& on people and they ate it up.

But life goes on - eventually I learned to laugh at the Morg - all their dirty laundry is showing up on the internet, and with the mighty figure of Prophet Monson to lead them through these troubled times, I'm sure they are wading ever deeper into the quicksand.

Re: I feel so incredibly duped
Since my DH and I are the only members in our families (we're converts of 12 years), the overwhelming reaction we've gotten from them has been all positive. They're cool and kind enough to not say "Boy, you screwed up big time!" I love my family- they're real and we accept each other warts & all!

I called up my adult son last week and told him "Guess what I'm drinking right now? Coffee!" He said "Oh no, you're not!" He was amazed and thought it was cool, and welcomed me back to the mighty world of coffee! He told me he admired us for trying, but that we knew when enough was enough and had the courage to walk away.

darth jesus
Re: I feel so incredibly duped
right after my mission it's when i truly became an investigator of the church.

i too feel stupid every now and then. money, well i can get that back. the stress? the time wasted? the neurons i killed trying to make this work?

the evidence was right there in front of my eyes and yet somehow i wanted it to be real. i didn't want to believe the "anti-mormon" thing.

well, 12 years after my mission i felt i had enough. so, here i am. i resigned late last year.

to be fair though, the hotel in hawaii is not that big. as much as i want the cult to go down, that hotel thing might be bullshit and i don't like bullshit of any kind.

that hotel renovation thing is actually an inn right in front of the polynesian cultural center in laie -by mcdonalds. it looks like an old rusty house if you ask me. i live here in hawaii.

now, the cult bought a huge piece of land though not too long ago where they **might** be planing a huge hotel. it's between laie and kahuku right across from the malaekahana park (goat island).

thank you for listening. i'm darth jesus. i'm apostate and i proudly found myself again.

"Recovery from Mormonism - www.exmormon.org"