Too Busy Serving God To Help Family

pewsitter July 2013

I have a sister that is one of the seminary teachers in her ward. her husband is in the bishopric. They lived with my parents for 8 years and paid no rent when they were first married. They live about 30 minutes from my parents. My parents need help taking care of themselves and my seminary teaching sister and her bishopric member husband are too busy with church callings to help.

He has seen my parents twice in the past 12 months.

I have a brother that is a member of his bishopric and he also is too busy to help take care of our parents. They are all too busy with church callings and have no time available for family.

My sister and I alternate and travel 250 miles each way each week to take care of our parents.

Our parents are so TBM that they prefer their other children not help take care of them so they can perform church callings.

I just want a break and have the lazy selfish TBM siblings step up and do their part to help out. I guess that only happens if their bishops are inspired and command them to be adults. We know bishops are not inspired and TBM's cannot think outside the obedient box.

I wonder if I gave them a toilet brush if they would help out?

Re: Too Busy Serving God To Help Family
That's MORmONISM for you.

MORmONS just can't get the fact that family begins at home (WHAT A CONCEPT!!!!!!! ).

MORmONS are so busy promoting family togetherness for their MORmON church that they don't have time to take care of family matters at home!

My MORmON parents were so busy raising all the other ward member's kids, that they had no time for their own kids.

Then MORmONS wonder why I laugh/ scoff when they start talking about how much MORmONISM promotes family togetherness.

FACT!: MORmONISM has destroyed FAR MORE families than it has ever brought together and / or kept together.

please divert all your family resources in the name of family togetherness to LDS Inc's *family* oriented MORmON Church to make sure that MORmON elite can continue in their privileged life style.

Re: Too Busy Serving God To Help Family
Yep, the whole family thing is a joke.

Split up the family to do callings, go on missions, go several states away to attend church college, and meet and marry someone there from clear across the country, splitting up families for life!

When I was in the military in Illinois in the 90's, I invited my dad from out west to come visit us (had 3 little kids).

He said he was too busy and couldn't afford it. A couple months later he sold his house and went on a mission to West Virginia. They never did visit us.

One more experience that made me question the whole thing.

Re: Too Busy Serving God To Help Family
Sorry to hear that.

Send them these verses:

1 Timothy 5:8
But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

1 Timothy 5:8
But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Proverbs 23:22
Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.

“Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother”

“Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” (Ex. 20:12.)

This morning I wish to speak about honoring our parents and the aged among us.

The commandment to honor our parents has strands that run through the entire fabric of the gospel. It is inherent in our relationship to God our Father. It embraces the divine destiny of the children of God. This commandment relates to the government of the family, which is patterned after the government of heaven.

Middle-aged persons are likely to think of the commandment to honor our fathers and our mothers in terms of caring for aged parents. In a message given a year and a half ago, President Ezra Taft Benson encouraged families “to give their elderly parents and grandparents the love, care, and attention they deserve.” He said:

“Remember, that parents and grandparents are our responsibility, and we are to care for them to the very best of our ability"

Dallin H. Oaks. April 1991, General Conference.

En Sabah Nur
Re: Too Busy Serving God To Help Family
In Matthew 15, Jesus rebukes the pharisees:

"For God said, ‘Honor your father and mother’ and ‘Whoever insults his father or mother must be put to death.’

But you say, ‘If someone tells his father or mother, “Whatever help you would have received from me is given to God,”

he does not need to honor his father.’ You have nullified the word of God on account of your tradition.


'Nuff said.

Re: Too Busy Serving God To Help Family
It appears that there are four of you.

Set up a schedule and email all parties:
On x day of xx month it is your turn to assist our parents.
If you decline to do so you are in violation of 1 timothy 5:8, Proverbs 23:22, and Matthew 15. Remember this is a family oriented church and failure to assist your parents places in question your right to perform temple ordinances.

Re: Too Busy Serving God To Help Family
My parents got called to work in the temple.
We did not see them for four years.
That's how MORmONISM brings families together.
Haul ass to the temple to save dead people, while ignoring living family members.

If anyone finds any contradiction in this, then MORmON operatives will endlessly slander that person. That's a MORmON solution!

MORmONISM is the family church, because MORmONISM says so, regardless of contrary facts.

That's why MORmONISM is really the BULL S-H-I-T church!

Re: Too Busy Serving God To Help Family
That won't work if the OP is known ExMo. They'll find a dozen verses to counteract it. Plus, it's from the Bible. Now if you could find supporting verses from the BoM....

Couldn't help you there, never read the damn thing :-)

Re: Too Busy Serving God To Help Family
First, don't use bible verses and religion to persuade your TBM siblings to help care for your parents. Don't stoop to their level.

Second, don't let your parents or siblings walk on you and your sister.

Call an "emergency" family meeting with all your siblings, you and your sister driving to a location that is closest to your TBM siblings. This keeps them from having to put forth effort and make excuses why they can't go. Then lay it on the table.

"Either we split the care of our parents four ways, or our parents go in a home."

It then makes them accept responsibility, and if they say they would never do such a thing but they are too busy, tell them you are too and will not be driving down.

Children are not obligated to care for their parents in their old age, especially parents who do not care for them. You and your family come first. That is your family.

They allowed the church to take priority in their lives and the lives of their children, and it is pure selfishness of them to expect you and your sister to care for them because they don't want to use up their TBM children's time.

Your an adult, be one.

Any chance of them hiring people to come in and help?
I know it's hard to find help for aging parents. But that doesn't make it all your responsibility. It seems pretty clear that your siblings just don't really WANT to help. If they did, they would have made time for it already. I'm guessing that your family really isn't that close and this would be more of an obligation than a pleasure for them? (And I'm not judging because many families aren't close).

It's just a matter of time before your parents will need DAILY help, anyway. You and siblings should be looking at homes or in-home help. This is a tough stage of life for siblings, and can breed a lot of resentment. I know it did in my family.

If there are expenses (gas, etc) associated with helping out your parents, then your parents should cover it. If they have no money, the siblings should split it, or maybe the ones who aren't helping out should hire help on THEIR weeks. It sounds like your parents are TBM. Any chance that the ward could help out or someone in the ward would be willing to do it for hire?

My guess is that they need help with cleaning and shopping. Many of those things can be hired out. The Merry Maids can probably clean better and faster than you can (no offense), and it's cheaper than driving 500 miles in a weekend. And maybe your parents can be trained how to shop for many of their things online.

One more thing . . .
Your PARENTS may have to adapt in order to have their needs met. They may not be able to stay in their home. They may have to move closer to where the help is, or into a home. They may not be able to have access to their same hairdresser, friends, grocery store, etc, or have things exactly how they want them, because their children may not have the time or the energy to make that possible.

That's a hard and sad reality about aging.

"Recovery from Mormonism -"