Why? Do mormons act like an ex mormon knows nothing about the teachings of the church?
by Mia Apr 2012
They act like you suddenly have no information or knowledge of the church once you decide t leave it.
Husband and I both went from teaching adult classes and attending the temple to being inactive within a week. Now there are members who talk to us like we know nothing about the church. The truth is, we are more knowledgeable than they are.
I am the same person i've always been, but now I get treated like I am a total stranger with a disease, and must be avoided at all costs. Some have assumed that I have been taken over by satan and have become a different person. It amazes me that full grown adults can be so naive and superstitious. It reminds me of books i've read from the 1800's. They see a black cat run across someones path.....they can no longer associate with that person, they are bad luck, and it might rub off on them.
Crazy fears from the dark ages paired with naive and childish adults is a recipe for some pretty crazy people. I've never done anything unkind or mean to anyone in the ward I left. Yet, when they see me, I can see fear in their eyes. Do they think I am capable of stealing their soul and selling to the devil? That's how they act.
Chicken'n'Backpacks
Re: Why? Do mormons act like an ex mormon knows nothing about the teachings of the church?
Fear.
SL Cabbie
They Have To...
If they give any validation to the substance of what's said here, they're headed down the same slippery slope.
It's a form of denial...
3X
Re: They Have To...
"It's a form of denial"
Plain and simple ...
runtu
Indeed
I spent 40 years in the church, serving a mission and holding a variety of callings, such as elders quorum president, executive secretary, Gospel Doctrine teacher, Young Men's president, and in the high priests group leadership; and I worked for two years in the Church Office Building writing and editing curriculum manuals. And yet, mopologists tell me I don't know anything about the church's teachings and practices.
Hilarious.
Raptor Jesus
Do you remember all those lessons about "losing the Spirit?"
Or the "Spirit withdrawing"?
Or losing the "Light of Christ?"
Or all that @#$%& in different wording?
It meant that you would just forget and become dumb once you leave the church.
They literally believe that.
And it's ridiculous.
rander70
Re: Why? Do mormons act like an ex mormon knows nothing about the teachings of the church?
I think they think our reasons for leaving the church are shallow; such wanting to sleep in on sunday mornings, or wanting to dress immodestly, or party, drink, and have sex. Oh no, it can NEVER be that the church did something wrong or IS wrong. Psh...
outofthere
Re: Why? Do mormons act like an ex mormon knows nothing about the teachings of the church?
I have often thought about how much more I know about the Church than before, but you are right, TBMs think I somehow don't know any Church doctrine now, because they can't fathom how I could know it through and through and not like it. What is more crazy to me is how they think if they can just get me to "feel the Spirit," I'll be converted again. They don't get that the "Spirit" is an unreliable and unrealistic means of obtaining truth. That is just too much information for them. It is sad, though. I remember being afraid of people who had left the Church, because I suddenly felt like I had no idea what to say. I felt like who I was offended them and I would shrink away, but recognizing that attitude in myself helped me break through the programming and open myself to a new life.
Can't Resist
Re: Why? Do mormons act like an ex mormon knows nothing about the teachings of the church?
It's much easier to believe that YOU are misinformed/uninformed/in-need-of-remedial-gospel-essentials/stupid than to believe tscc is a steaming pile of poo.
ajhart
Re: Why? Do mormons act like an ex mormon knows nothing about the teachings of the church?
Ugh that drives me crazy! I hate watching mormon youtube videos that have people saying, "don't go to anti sites like exmormon.org...that's not accurate information about the church!" Wtf!! This website is full of people who went to church all their lives, if anyone knows accurate information about the church it's the people on here!!!
liberalbutteffer
Re: Why? Do mormons act like an ex mormon knows nothing about the teachings of the church?
I hate it! All my TBM "friends" and relatives act like I completely forgot what the church teaches and what their activities are. The other day, my friend explained to me what general conference was and I had to tell her that I already knew because I used to be a member. Just because I left doesn't mean my memories were wiped.
Mia
Re: Why? Do mormons act like an ex mormon knows nothing about the teachings of the church?
All the years of being TBM, and I never heard or was taught the truth.
All those years, I was loyal, they never were to me.
All of years listening to lessons that made me feel like there was something wrong with me, but it was the church that has it wrong.
I had to go online to find the truth, because if I had searched it out by asking questions at church I would have been made to feel like I was wrong, evil, and sinning.
When you find the truth, you know it. The church is right about that. I found the truth, and I knew it, and I couldn't deny it.
It happened in the blink of an eye. It was the same feeling I had when I found out my ex husband of 10 years was cheating on me.
I knew there were problems. I just couldn't quite articulate what they were. I was doing everything within my power to make the relationship a good one. Yet, something wasn't clicking. There was a huge gap in how things should be, and how they were.
The moment I read the truth, it left me with a surreal kind of spacey feeling for a moment. That moment when your reality makes a huge life changing shift. Your mind can't take in the enormity of the situation. You keep reading, researching, finding out the real story. The feelings of betrayal are huge. You can't help but think of the sacrifices you made. You feel like you've been used and made a fool of. The anger kicks in.After going through situations like this several times in your life, you realize the anger is a phase. Feel it, but don't let it consume and destroy you.
Then come the life changes. The judgements of others. People taking sides, and talking about you behind your back. All very similar to a divorce. You lose friends, lifestyle changes. Some people lose family. It's all a very nasty business. All because you gave of yourself, you trusted, you believed. And the other party didn't. They lied, used, stole, manipulated, and guilt tripped you. They even went so far as to blame you for their bad behavior. Somehow, you have to work through it all and move on to a better place. That takes time. But it can be done.
oddcouplet
Re: Why? Do mormons act like an ex mormon knows nothing about the teachings of the church?
Some of this might be due to the uniquely Mormon definition of "knowledge," at least religious knowledge.
The conventional definition is that knowledge is information grasped by the mind. The Mormon definition is that knowledge is a kind of emotional awareness that can be willed into existence. Therefore if someone isn't in an emotional state in which they "know" the church is true, or at least trying to will themselved into such a condition, then they have no knowledge, by definition.
Puli
They are taught to think this way
They are taught that no valid reason exists to leave Mormonism. When someone does, there is something wrong with them starting with they don't know what they are giving up (or rather getting rid of). If you left the church - God's ONLY true church on the earth - then you must not know enough about it. It is an assumption that keeps other members from seriously inquiring why you left. They are given answers to the question up front so you won't be able to provide the real reasons and what you discovered.
Lostmypassword
Re: Why? Do mormons act like an ex mormon knows nothing about the teachings of the church?
Didn't they use the "Men in Black" flashy light memory eraser thing on you?
Members have to use it every time there is a doctrine change.
blueorchid
Re: Why? Do mormons act like an ex mormon knows nothing about the teachings of the church?
You finally see the truth, you know it, you stand up, you unshackle, you shake the damaging lies and clutter from your body and soul.
And what do you get? Your TBM family is now looking at you like you are dangerous. Like you are the one who is lost. And because they see you that way, nothing you say or do counts for anything anymore.
I have wanted desperately to have one truly honest conversation about why I left the church with my family, but no. They don't want to hear anything I have to say, because I have been led astray by Satan. My nieces and nephews used to look at me like I had horns on my head. One look at the expression on their faces and I knew what had been said about Uncle Blueorchid.
rowan
Re: Why? Do mormons act like an ex mormon knows nothing about the teachings of the church?
Just Mormons acting like Mormons!
goatsgotohell
Re: Why? Do mormons act like an ex mormon knows nothing about the teachings of the church?
Duh! You might SAY it is due to doctrine, but EVERY MORMON knows that can't be true. It simply must be SIN or someone who OFFENDED YOU. Besides, your version of doctrine is just lies by the anti-'s.
It is a battle we will never win.
Don Bagley
This is funny to me,
because the entirety of Mormon lore is so small that it can be encapsulated in a single essay. I'll reduce it even further: Mormons are to obey their leaders and pay tribute to the church oligarchy as instructed.
Everything else is window dressing.
Greyfort
Re: Why? Do mormons act like an ex mormon knows nothing about the teachings of the church?
LOL I've noticed that. My TBM friend, who has known me since I was 16, will suddenly say, "Well in our Church, we ....." or, "We believe ....." and I'll go, "Yes I know, dear. I was a member for 30 years, remember?" Geez.
testiphony
There is no mental software program written for the Momos that civilly addresses a postMormon position.
It's easy to qualify as not knowing about their religion. Even if you repeat to them their belief content exactly but use different, normal-person-language, you don't really understand. You have to use their prosy cult speak.
Post-Mo: "Joseph Smith adapted a lot of ideas floating around his culture into his religious system."
Mo: "No you don't understand. God restored his true church in the dispensation of the fullness of times. Everything had already been taught but was restored back together thru the Prophet Joseph. Isn't it marvelous?"
Mo's have a really hard time with perspective. A different perspective on the same thing means you don't understand at all.
lefthandedgoat
Re: Why? Do mormons act like an ex mormon knows nothing about the teachings of the church?
Funny that you posted this today because this very thing happened to me last night. Crazy how they think you have amnesia or how you never really understood or know what Mormon's teach or believe even after going to church for more than 45 years.
Greyfort
Re: Why? Do mormons act like an ex mormon knows nothing about the teachings of the church?
LOL lefthandedgoat. What did you say to them?
Hey, I'm a lefthandedgoat too. I'm a leftie and I'm a Capricorn.
Makurosu
Have you ever been told you should attend the Gospel Principles class?
Ex-Mormons get told that a lot -- people who have served missions and graduated from BYU. I always thought that one was funny.
sdee
Re: Why? Do mormons act like an ex mormon knows nothing about the teachings of the church?
One of the best threads I've seen. Great question and so many great answers.
snowowl
Re: Why? Do mormons act like an ex mormon knows nothing about the teachings of the church?
Because, Mormonism is not about knowledge, it is about "knowing." Mormons claim to "know" something that is not necessarily based on actual knowledge, but based on an ephemeral feeling. If the belief feels good then they "know" it is true.
If a person has actual knowledge but does not have the magical feeling, they they cannot "know."
Mormonism has taken virtually every Christian doctrine, every biblical term and biblical personality and redefined them to conform to Mormon meanings, sometimes even trashing the meaning of the English language in order to make those meanings conform to Mormon doctrine. These new definitions are complete opposites to their biblical counterparts. Even though the words sound the same, they are not defined the same. This is the hallmark of a cult - redefining what is to mean what it isn't and redefining what isn't to mean what they want it to appear to be.
For the truly indoctrinated, it does not matter how large a body of actual and documented fact can be amassed against a certain belief or practice, because that factual knowledge is not considered to be "knowing" which is actually based on feeling as the validation of truth. The bizarre twist is that the true believer will reject actual truth if it feels bad, because it does not feel good since only good feelings are truth and represent the real "knowing" that they embrace.
dogzilla
Re: Why? Do mormons act like an ex mormon knows nothing about the teachings of the church?
"in the dispensation of the fullness of times"
That phrase still cracks me up. It means NOTHING. Completely meaningless.
Another fine example of a cult co-opting language to make words mean something they didn't used to mean. This combination of words means nothing to most normal speakers of English, but it's imbued with all sorts of meaning to mormons.
They don't realize how goofy they sound, do they?
suckafoo
Re: Why? Do mormons act like an ex mormon knows nothing about the teachings of the church?
Probably gives some of them anxiety, not knowing how to act naturally around you now that you have rejected everything they they hold dear. You are either in or out. That is how it is in there. I'd just start saying, "Boo!!!"
rosemary
Re: Have you ever been told you should attend the Gospel Principles class?
Absolutely. Or that we should take the missionary discussions. My little sis got sucked back in with that one. . . She was almost out (BIC, all of us.) but cult members talked her into having the discussions. She says it was a "final effort" and I couldn't explain to her that it was more like signing over what's left of her brain.
karin
Re: Why? Do mormons act like an ex mormon knows nothing about the teachings of the church?
well said!!
"Recovery from Mormonism - www.exmormon.org"