Subject: Did the temple ceremony help you leave the Mormon church?
Date: Jan 06, 2009
Author: SaTEXmo

What's your story? Here's mine.

While in the singles ward I met my wife. We dated for a few months, we decided to get married so I got my endowments in February 1991.

The endowment was a horrible experience for me. I felt I had been deceived.

My mom was there, my sister and brother in law, and my future wife. They all carried the all knowing grins before I went into the session. My BIL was my sponsor, the one who helped me through it.

I met with the temple president and they he talked about how special the temple was and that I was going to experience this great event and have spiritual enlightenment.

I went through the session and thought about leaving many times during it. I swore I could feel Satanís presence when he showed up on the screen. Hair on the back of the neck and goose bumps. I felt many of the things we were doing were evil and contradictory to every thing I had been taught in the Mormon faith.

Secret Combination kept going through my mind. Hand shakes, gestures, and dressed in strange accoutrements just screamed this was wrong to me. This was nothing like doing baptism for the dead.

Two things kept me in the ceremony. First my family was there and I didn't want to make a scene. Second, I truly believed I would see angels or some spiritual manifestation when I went to the celestial room. This was implied by everyone that went through the temple.

After changing back to my civilian clothes and sitting in the lobby of the temple these family members smiled at me like I was now in on the big secret. The smile was nothing malicious but I thought it was more a welcome to the club and you passed the initiation.

When I was in the Navy I crossed the equator and I became a shellback. Essentially you are hazed for 8 to 12 straight hours. Beat with fire hoses; eat green eggs and ham, on your knees all day crawling on non-skid and a host of other sado-masochistic events. I was more comfortable going through that than the temple.

My family asked if I had any questions and I asked a few basic questions. They asked what I thought about it and I said it was interesting. They told me I would understand it better the more I went. My mom told me that the endowments were better now than a few months ago. They had recently changed.

I got married in the temple and expected a huge elaborate show after participating in the endowments. Talk about anti-climactic. The ceremony was done in 5 minutes.

These temple ceremonies really created doubt about the church and I had been back in less than a year. I rarely went to the temple anymore and when I would go with the wife I would cause arguments and then sit in the parking lot while she went inside.

She blamed Satanís influence, I accepted that but my mind was working overtime trying to reconcile the temple with everything I had been taught in the church before I went to the temple.

Late in the evening sometime in 1994 or 1995 I was at my in-laws visiting when I saw the temple ceremony on a Public Access channel. It was almost word for word with some minor variations. The costumes were the same and they even had the veil, knocker and curtain.

I thought someone was going to hell for showing the temple ceremony but then the show had a break and it was explained the ceremony I just witnessed was a Masonic ceremony. WOW!

Since I couldn't talk about the temple ceremonies with anyone outside the temple I kept this in the back of my mind and tried to ignore what was in my mind even though my mind was screaming at me. I continued to renew my recommend. I only went to the temple for a couple of weddings after that.


Subject: When Husband & I left the temple after our endowments, I asked him, "Did we join the church of Satan?"
Date: Jan 06 13:38
Author: Goddess

It creeped me out, too. I can safely say that was the beginning of the end for us.


Subject: Weird- nothing made sense! Exactly. Finally I figured it out. It is not supposed to make sense. This
Date: Jan 06 13:59
Author: SusieQ#1

temple ordinance is not really about religion, it's about Masonry! Took many years to finally do the research and that was after I stopped attending.
Not only do all of the religious claims not make sense, the behavior of some of the members (many of them in leadership) don't compliment the claims either.

Further light and knowledge = know more about Masonry!
That's why it does not make sense. I don't think it's suppose to make sense. It's too sacred to really talk about, so it is left up to the individual to come up with some kind of meaning to repeating the same nonsense over and over and over like it really meant somthing.

HELLO.... it doesn't mean a thing. But it's a ritual. Rituals don't have to have specific meaning. They just have to be repeated because that was not it was done before.

It's like the story of the daughter who made her meatloaf a certain way. When asked, why she did it that way, she said, it was the way her mother and grandmother and great grandmother did it. It was tradition.

Rituals are traditions that go on and on and on and are supposed to be the only right way to do something.

I find no real meaning in the rituals/ordinances in the LDS temples when dressed up those goofy clothes and a backwards veil! Just too weird for me.

I used to go along because it was my "tribe" and these were their rituals. Who was I to question it?

Well, not anymore!

Nothing learned in the LDS Church can prepare the initiate for the temple rituals of washing and anointing, and the endowment. There is no connection anywhere.

However, the believers think there is, and they will continue to do the ordinances, over and over and over.
Somehow repeating something alone gives it some kind of validity. There is comfort in repetition. Human beings love their rituals!


Subject: The kirtland temple has zero Masonic symbols on it and the Nauvoo is full of them.
Date: Jan 06 14:49
Author: Rubicon

The Nauvoo temple is riddled with Masonic symbolism. Upside down stars, suns, moons etc... So is the Salt Lake Temple. The Kirtland temple is basically a very nice large church building based on a greater and lesser priesthood in the assembly hall.

It's so obvious that the masonry came in after Joseph Smith joined the Masonic lodge and became a third degree mason. I think Joseph wanted an elitist fraternity in the church and a reason to justify it. It seems his main motive was to justify his adultery using a higher so called order to do it and keep his polygamy club secret.

It's only the Brighamites that have such temples. The other Mormon sects that separated from the church in the Nauvoo era don't have such temples and if they do, they are fancy meeting houses not whacky Mason inspired madness.


Subject: Clearly, the temple ordinances evolved after Joseph Smith Jr became a Mason like his brother and
Date: Jan 06 14:55
Author: SusieQ#1

father, and most other men of his time.
In reading the journals of Joseph Smith Jr, it became clear that the religion evolved.
Even his claim of his visions came about after the BOM not before.

Yes indeed. It is the Brighamites that have evolved into the "only true" church!~ :-)
There other factions and groups apparently lacked the leadership of B Young when he isolated his flock in UT territory.

The continuation of main church and it's organization is the result of B Young, more so than Joseph Smith Jr.


Subject: That's exactly what I thought! It was all of the Devil!
Date: Jan 06 18:19
Author: FreeRose

I almost turned to the TBM going thru with me and tell her this is not of God, this is of the Devil!. I kept thinking it would get better. NOT!! When I caught up with the TBM matriarch in front of the temple, I said well that was really weird? She stammered and looked at the ground and walked towards her car. I just stood there, expecting an answer about what I had just been thru. Then she turned around and walked back, still staring at the ground and said, "See you at church on Sunday". WHAT? She *KNEW* it was all mumbojumbo, hocus pocus crap. I was so angry that I wasn't told about this before I went thru. What an absolute crock and fraud TSCC is!


Subject: At the time I went, I had already been through 18 months of
Date: Jan 06 13:54
Author: cl2

h*ll because my ex and I were trying to get him married (he is gay) as per the leaders. I didn't want to go to the temple because I didn't like the idea of it being secret. I hate being in situations where I feel like I'm not in control. I was actually relieved afterwards that it wasn't worse than it was, but I do remember thinking "ritual"--what the h*ll were those death oaths? I almost burst out laughing at my ex's baker's hat. I always thought the temple would be one step up from general conference.

I only went back 4 times for endowments--so it goes to show you how impressed I was. I hated the attitude of the workers--it wasn't a feeling of love and caring there, but a feeling of being reprimanded over and over again.

The 5 points of fellowship (which you probably didn't experience) was abusive. I had been warned about washing and annointing, so I was prepared.

I never once got a chance to sit and meditate in the celestial room. I longed to be able to just go sit in teh celetial room and not go through an endowment session, but that wasn't possible. I was always rushed out of the celestrial room.

The real shocker was the new name. I always had in my mind this special name God had for only me. My name, Lucy, about blew me away--as it did my ex.

I knew from the beginning there was something wrong, but it had been built up for SO LONG that you want to believe--you really want to believe.

My dad--just not long ago--told me how strange his wedding day was to him (Salt Lake temple 56 years ago). He didn't go on a mission, so they both took out their endowmnents that day, too. He didn't go back for about 25 years--when my sister got married.

NOW--being out--I can't understand why anyone finds it uplifting--let alone that attitude held by all the workers, like we are little children who are just irritating the h*ll out of them and we don't know our place.


Subject: I was expecting the temple to be a mind-blowing spiritual experience.
Date: Jan 06 14:54
Author: Rubicon

The temple was the biggest let down ever. It was a creepy assembly line. I enjoy a root canal more than the temple because at least at the dentist you can get high on the nitrous.


Subject: Re: Did the temple ceremony help you leave the church?
Date: Jan 06 13:59
Author: Michael Pace

I did my first temple Masonic/Mormon grips, tokens, and penalties nonsense in 1964, as a new missionary, bound for Brazil.

It truly scared me. I mean shitless! I was nineteen, and had no ability to think for myself. I was 100% used to doing whatever my father and his Mormon church told me to do, without comment or question. I felt anxious however that I was not permitted to question or discuss the temple ceremony outside temple walls. It was unlikely that such a discussion would be allowed within temple walls either. Likewise, I was afraid to even think silently about the temple ceremony, or to question what I had experienced. I created distractions to re-direct my thoughts away from the temple ceremony, silent questions about my beliefs and any thoughts that might be considered "impure". I think "obsessive compulsion" was the result until I finally left Mormonism, and realized that Mormonism is crippling fraud.

Instead of rejecting Mormonism, I embraced it more diligently out of fear that I would become a Son of Perdition if I even questioned Mormonism in my mind, out of fear that angelic scribes were privy to my every thought. My fear of eternal separation from my parents and siblings was the single biggest reason that I strove even harder to please the demanding god of Mormonism.

Ironically, now that I have left Mormonism, I am separated, and divorced. Better to be divorced and shunned than forced to believe Mormonism.


Subject: I agree with Michael Pace.
Date: Jan 06 14:18
Author: forestpal

Mormonism is so debilitating, that almost any price is worth paying to break free--especially to get your children out!

This is not "tradition" we're talking about. In my personal opinion, I think the temple rituals are evil.

--At the very very best, the temple is highway robbery. The Mormons take people's money, offering them false promises in return. The cult doesn't have to "pay up" until the hereafter.

--It is blackmail. Mormons take members' money, on the threat that if they don't pay and go to the temple, they will be separated from their loved ones for all eternity.

--It is fraud. Cult members think they are doing necessary ordinances for dead people. Most dead people, in life, chose to live in other religions, like the Holocaust victims, for example. The same dead people's names are used over and over again, so the member is just wasting time, anyway.

--It is subterfuge. Secrecy! Temple goers are not allowed to talk about the temple to anyone. They used to take a blood oath on their life to be taken if they revealed the secrets. They can't even talk in the temple, either. Most "cultish" of all, these secrets are kept from the members themselves, until it is too late. There you are, unsuspecting and innocent, sitting between your parent and your sibling, family bonds and peer pressure locking you in there, when your soul wants nothing more than to flee!

"To listen to the heart is the truest wisdom."--Leo Tolstoy. The Mormon cult teaches the opposite of that.

I used to get physically ill in the temple. I'm not kidding you. The crabby matrons would never let me sit by the exit door, either. The rule was to remain in your arbitrary place in line. Those able to sit in the parking lot were the lucky ones.

Great thread SaTEXmo! The temple and its rituals were the first things I knew were false.


Subject: Joseph received his Temple "Revelation" 2 weeks after joining the masons.
Date: Jan 06 14:18
Author: NoToJoe

Of course it I'm sure it was just a coincidence and his joining the Masons was in no way related to God sending him the new and secret/sacred Temple ceremony. Right?

I went through the temple in 1990 and it freaked me out too. I wanted to leave but my parents were sitting right there with those huge Mormon 'shit-eating' grins...."We are so proud of you for being worthy to attend the temple!" (you mean worthy to wear a bakers hat, chant and shake hands with gramps.....shit! I should have beded my HS girl friend while I had the chance!)

I was wondering if I had mistakenly joined the Scientologists or Heaven's Gate. It was bait and switch and on the ride home I was angry that none of my parents, teachers, advisors, and spiritual leaders had been honest with me about what goes on in the temple.

Its not special its just creepy. And fyi, it was originally all about polygamy. Joe wants to keep his extra-material activities secret so he creates a complicated ceremony and limits access to his inner circle so they can practice polygamy secretly.

That's what the temple is all about!


Subject: The big grins mean "We are so happy you are finishing you Kool-Aid!"
Date: Jan 06 14:58
Author: Rubicon

At least we all got out alive unlike Jonestown or the Hail Bop cult.


Subject: It's where I learned I was nothing more than a piece of property to the church.
Date: Jan 06 14:38
Author: Rubicon

The endowment ceremony was the beginning of the end for me. I'll never forget a visiting general authority while I was on my mission saying,"Nothing like finding out you were lied to in order to get you out here." He said it jokingly but by saying that he also revealed his thought process and how the church leaders indeed know they are duping the church members; especially, the young men and women in it.

I started to question the church at a very young age. I liked the community aspect of it and the fun activities but I never felt comfortable with the personal intrusion of the church. The snooping home teachers, the constant demands on your resources and time, the probing bishop interviews. I smelled a rat early on in my life.

When I refused to attend seminary my parents had no problem with it. A year later the stake president used his influence to have my parents make me go to seminary. This is when I found out the church was putting great emphasis on seminary and herding the teenaged members to an agenda. I was angry but I didn't want to be punished. It was either run away from home or play the church's game because my parents were bowing down to the church leadership. I went to seminary but I also started drinking and partying more. I also had a sexual fetish to have sex with the cute girls at seminary and I actually accomplished this goal with one. It was rebellion that fueled this. Make me go to seminary will you? I will use your system to break all your rules, so I viewed getting drunk and having sex with fellow Mormon seminary students the big finger flip to the church.

Then I felt guilty about my rebellion and went through an unhappy time during my first year of college. It was the first time away from home and I was now 19 (legal drinking age). I took school seriously but the partying was unbelievable. I think I had either a constant buzz or hangover that whole school year and by the end of the second semester I was burned out and lost feeling.

When my bishop at home asked me to go on a mission I said sure. I think the motive was a change of pace for awhile and I had no idea the post temple life of a Mormon on a mission would be so horrible.

When I saw what the endowment was, I knew the church was a cult and wanted to get the hell out of it but I was stuck with my family in it and I stayed for family reasons. I stayed because it was easier to stay than to leave and then I got so sick of it I had to leave.


Subject: Creepy and boring
Date: Jan 06 15:35
Author: AxelDC
Mail Address:

It certainly was a chink in the armor. I had looked forward to the Temple for years and craved the "further light and knowledge" I was to find there. Instead, I had some creepy old man touching me while I wore that weird shield. I was never so happy to put on underwear as when I got garments.

The Temple Ceremony was a let down and after a couple of visits, was downright boring. I did like the Celestial Room, but only because it meant it was over. After my mission, I must have gone a half dozen times before I quit going all together.

While it didn't immediately lead me out of the church, I found it a huge disappointment and was certainly not a reason for me to stay in the church.


Subject: It was the major crack in my foundation. n/t


Subject: Re: Did the temple ceremony help you leave the church?
Date: Jan 06 15:48
Author: free2BU&me

I think my TBM mother said it the best a few months ago. When I told her that the temple was not only disturbing, but flat out wrong, her response was most telling. "The only people who have problems with the temple are the people who have time to think about it." She continued in a sarcastic tone, "Wooo, the freaky..." as my chin dropped. My father who was recently called as bishop had to tell her to be quiet. I'll never look at my mother in the same way. Sad.


Subject: The first. big problem for me started BEFORE things even began!
Date: Jan 06 16:59
Author: Sick Memories

How can you rationally make a genuine and heartfelt commitment to something that you haven't even been allowed to see and understand before hand?

It's like being told that you must SIGN a contract before you are allowed to EVEN READ IT! How fair is that? Then after signing the contract you discover that the wording contains horrid, and truly disgusting, DEATH OATHS!

Slashing my throat? Enacting my own disembowelment!

The old language(used before circa 1930's) said that I would allow my "throat to be slashed from ear to ear and my tongue torn out by the root", and that I would allow my stomach to be slashed and my "bowels gush out" should I ever disclose what I had agreed to! (The old pre-1930's words were removed, but the death-like actions still persisted to the early 90's when I went through).

In addition, I agreed to give EVERYTHING I OWN to the Mormon church should it ever be asked of me!

But then, if I ever turn from the terms of this (previously undisclosed) contract that I will be considered by everyone I know to be in SATAN'S POWER!

None of this told to me in advance, yet the Temple is a manditory thing in Mormonism. (Try finding a Mormon girl who is willing to marry you outside of the temple - it's like sexual extortion).

It's all a matter of great church power and intimidation over the Mormom members; It is evidence of the church's profound and deep disrespect for those members.

If these aren't solid evidences of a CULT in action, then the word "CULT" has no meaning!

If you aren't in yet -- STAY OUT!


Subject: Re: Did the temple ceremony help you leave the church?
Date: Jan 06 17:32
Author: hated it

You described most of the things that went through my mind:

The unmet expectations: I was gullible enough to believe that since it was *so* sacred that even temple-going members could not discuss it between themselves that only seeing God would qualify as *that* sacred. I went in expecting to run into Jesus in the hallway or something. It did not happen. I was angry at what it turned out to be -- anything but spiritual and enlightening. I did most certainly feel like I'd been dealing with a slimy used car salesman and gotten hooked by a bait-and-switch ad.

I had not been warned about the initiatory and it felt very wrong to let someone touch me in places I did not want to be touched. Sadly, it never even occurred to me that I could leave and so it ended up feeling like I was powerless to stop the unwanted touching. (And the temple worker who did that part was very sympathetic because I was visibly upset by the experience and made the touches brief and light, but it was still yucky.)

I can also relate to the perception that it was "evil" or "Satanic." When they started chanting those nonsense words and we had to do movements with the chants I was afraid because I was sure what we were doing was Satanic. (I don't believe in Satan now, but at the time it scared me.) Same thing with promising to carry out grusome suicide acts if I ever told the secrets and being made to act them out. More Satanism, I thought.

I had a real problem with a god who would not welcome a beloved child home after being away, but rather would demand from behind a door, "What do you want?" I wondered what use I was supposed to have for a god who so emphasized remembering secret passwords, celestial gang signs, and wanted to check that I had on the right underwear before he was willing to even open the damn door when I returned "home." Did I really want to jump through endless hoops and conform to petty, ticky-tac rules so I could return and live for eternity with someone like that? I concluded that, no, I didn't.

It took me a long time to completely go exmo, but the temple was the beginning of my "lukewarm" mormon/closet doubter stage and definitely was what got the ball rolling toward exmormomism.


Subject: I always had a nagging thought in the back of my mind.
Date: Jan 06 18:05
Author: JBug

When I went to the temple [only went a few times], it was always in the back of my mind "Are these the "secret combinations" mentioned in the Book of Mormon?" It all seemed so strange and out of sync with the other parts of "church".

I blocked out those thoughts, but I avoided the temple as much as possible, mostly because I never felt "worthy" enough, but also because it did not seem to fit with the other teachings of the church.


Subject: Evil, spooky, of the Devil, horrid! And remember...
Date: Jan 06 18:10
Author: FreeRose


Oh, please. This was the sickest, weirdest thing I ever went thru. Went back only once. Still sick and weird. And the *nasty* matron at the vein huffed when I didn't know what to say. WHAT? I barely understood the whole friggn thing the 1st time and she expected me to have *memorized* what the hell we were supposed to say to the clown behind the curtain? [early 80s before the net]. Yeah, well. It was a BIG factor in my leaving. That and the fact that I was totally draggn from all the crap I had to do and the people were just plain WEIRD. I mean, they were like Stepford people or something.

I really wish I could warn people about this CULT. It just destroys the soul!!


Subject: My experience was similar to yours
Date: Jan 06 18:22
Author: Diapason

I thought the temple was weird, but went through with it for the same reasons you go through everything else in are expected to and you are indoctrinated to do so.

DW was horrified by the temple and cried after getting her endowments. She would sometimes not wear her garments when we were first married because they reminded her of the creepy temple S**t. She didn't want to go back and we didn't go back very often, usually only for family events.

But we put all our temple question up on the shelf with all our other unanswered church questions for about 25 years.

One night we were watching a History channel program on the freemasons. Much of the Masonic temple ceremony was explained and demonstrated. Holy silly secret bullshit batman! Secret handshakes and passwords, oaths and covenants. Agreeing to the B.S. before you knew what you were agreeing to. Keeping it secret and never discussing it outside the temple. And oh Lordy........they even wore funky little aprons!

DW and I looked at each other after the program and wondered, Why would the most sacred and holy Mormon ordinance be copied from the Masons? If JS copied the temple ceremony, what else did he copy! What other revelations were pure B.S. and fabrication.

Still being TBM, I tried to put the temple/Mosonic issue on the shelf with the rest of my questions. But the shelf was getting full. This box wouldn't fit completely on the shelf. It was tetering on the edge. It stayed up there for a year or so......then I learned about the BoA, and different versions of the first vision and the entire shelf came crashing down.

So yeah.....the temple ceremony was the start of our disbelief.


Subject: Moon People
Date: Jan 06 18:38
Author: Enojado

Before I went into the temple my mom warned me several times to not be freaked out by the "moon people." I kid you not. Those were her exact words.

That should've clued me in, but I ignored it and did my endowments. I went right before my mission and found it to be a nerve-wracking and pretty empty experience. I really didn't feel the spirit, and my whole time inside was spent trying to remember my new name. Oddly enough, I'm not sure what it is. Jared or Jarom maybe? Oh well, as if it matters anyway.

Only after getting back from my mission did I realize just what I had supposedly promised. I was pissed b/c if I had understood the seriousness of the implications of disobedience I probably wouldn't have gone through. It was as if it was too late and now that I had committed I had better live up to my end of the bargain or else I was royally fucked.


Subject: My first time through I just remember being scared to death
Date: Jan 06 18:43
Author: CA girl

No peace, no joy, no learning anything that would make me a better person. Eventually that wore off and it just became boring and a waste of time. Useless busywork. And I hated my new name.

When I told my sister I was questioning the church, she told me I needed to go to the temple more (I hadn't been in about 4 years). I asked her "Why?"

She said "So that you will come closer to the Savior."

I said "How?"

She said "By being in his temple."

I said "What specifically will I learn about the Savior by going to the temple?"

She couldn't answer that, of course. Finally she said, "I just know going will help you feel closer to the spirit."



Subject: The temple was the first chink in the armor, then my mission...
Date: Jan 06 19:14
Author: Greg in LA

I went a few months before my mission in 1985. I was so excited and anxious to go and experience the house of the lord.

I took my endowments out at the SLC temple because I thought that the live ceremony would be better.

Long story short--since I had NOOOO idea what was going to happen, even after temple prep class at BYU, I was totally freaked out during the washing and anointing, the freaky clothes, secret handshakes, crazy secret words, etc etc.

I hated it and something just didn't feel right. Not right at all.

I tried and tried but never learned to enjoy the temple, even after at least 100 visits and it definitely lead me to question the whole church's authenticity.


Subject: Re: It was the most nonsensical, anti-climatic event
Date: Jan 06 19:22
Author: Testator

I went through. How could I be traumatic? I felt like it was a joke, A stupid, infantile re-creation of most bizarre.


Subject: An aunt of mine said something really stupid about my cousin.
Date: Jan 06 19:26
Author: Stupid

This fellow went inactive shortly after going through the temple for the first time and our aunt said this:

"If he felt that way about his Temple covenants, he shouldn't have gone through in the first place."


But, as stupid as it all was, the entire TBM family agreed with this aunt.

Subject: God runs his Universe like it is a Moose Lodge.
Date: Jan 06 19:39
Author: Hell No

God finds a few sellect men here on earth and gives them exclusive power to interview and find other special humans based on their correctness. When these mortal leaders find and approve the "right people", the leaders will then give these "right people" the "super secret words" that they will need to tell God so that He will let them into heaven.

Why all the middle men?

Perhaps God "outsources" this judgment work to a few mortal men because He is too busy to do it himself.


Subject: They aren't SECRET combinations, they are SACRED combinations. nt


Subject: If an Evil Man goes through the Temple, would a Just God accept him anyway?
Date: Jan 06 20:08
Author: My View

------ And by that same thinking -------

If a Good Man DOESN'T ever go through the Temple, will a Just God REJECT him anyway?

Both answers should be "no".

So, if a BAD MAN won't be HELPED, and a GOOD MAN won't be HURT, then exactly what purpose, what good, is the Temple for?



Subject: Re: Did the temple ceremony help you leave the church?
Date: Jan 06 22:52
Author: anon

my husband and i felt i should get my endowments out a couple of months before we got married so i would have time to internalize it. my BYU bishop said no. Since i was just a lowly woman without her endowment i had to get them out no more than 72 hours before the sealing. we were both very upset.

i can't actually describe how i felt about the exactly ceremony as i was completely dumbfounded and dissociated. my family was so happy. my husband was all teary taking me through the "veil".

What could i do. i loved him. It was too late.

i was a good little wife for almost a decade before i cracked.


Subject: Absolutely!
Date: Jan 06 23:00
Author: Moira

Quit going to church, quit BYU, but didn't actually resign until I was 50. Mormons actually left me pretty much alone until I was 40 (for some reason), and the resignation stopped the hassle.



Subject: Without a doubt.
Date: Jan 07 01:17
Author: Church Enemy

For many years the temple was portrayed to me as the ultimate spiritual trip. But I was extremely disappointed once I received my endowments.

I actually went through the endowment ceremony in the beginning of my mission. As I was going through the ceremony I was freaking out. I definitely didn't feel the Spirit. I was so freaked out that in desperation I asked the Temple President's wife in the Celestial Room, "Is this a cult?".

And not surprisingly she snitched on me with the MTC president. In result, I was almost sent home because of my "rebelliousness". Looking back I should've jumped aboard in being sent home but I was too brainwashed to follow through.

The saddest part of all is that I cried my ass off once I returned to my dormitory. I was so angry with my imaginary friend (God) for allowing such bait and switch to occur to me. I felt betrayed and angry. I was so depressed that I contemplated suicide a few times. It was like living a nightmare. In fact, I pinched myself a few times in hope that it was a bad dream, but to no avail.

But to answer your question, yes, the temple along with the controlling environment of the MTC was the beginning of the end for my testimony. Unfortunately, it took me another 7 years to eventually unmask and crush the Wizard of OZ.


Subject: Yes, absolutely. One of the biggies for me. n/t

Related topics:


13. Non-Mormon and Garments

15. Temple Divorces

19. Feel Ugly in Temple Clothing?

32. The Changing Temple

33. First Time to the Temple

42. Washing and Anointings

 44. Stopped wearing garments

66. Secret or Sacred?

127 Temple Marriage Ceremony

155  New Names Given in the Temple

165  Not allowed to the Temple Wedding

169  Can Temple Ordinances be Changed?

234  Changing Rules? Temple Marriages

238  She Can't Stand The Temple 

243  Temple Hype Versus Reality 

285  First Time to Temple II

288. Protestant Minister Pre-1990 Endowment

293 Excluded from Children's  Wedding

301 Speaking Publicly about the Temple

306 Temples are Running out of Names

331 The Temple Endowment not Changed per Apologist

339 Temple Marriage vs. Traditional

359 Canceling a Temple Sealing

366 Naked Touching in the Temple?

371 Young Women Dress up in Mother's Temple Wedding Gown

382 Excluded from Children's Mormon Temple Wedding II

474. My Mother Denies Making Motions of Slitting her Throat in the Temple Prior to 1990

475. My Father had to Pay $4000 to the Church to Attend My Wedding

478. Mormon Doctrine:Women Must Wear Bras over Garments?

 503.  A non-Mormon Mother unable to attend her daughter's temple wedding

507. Women Write about their Temple Weddings 523. Was the Temple a Turning Point in Your Believing in Mormonism?
533.  Video on the Mormon Temple Rituals [recommended] 514. Summary of the Mormon Temple
550  Benson:  Ground Zero in My Unbelief in Mormonism - the Temple 564. Did the temple ceremony help you leave the Mormon church?

Recovery from Mormonism - The Mormon Church

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