"I… do not offer any further details… because I am afraid he will either-not believe me… or make fun of me" Echoing earlier posts, might I suggest a third, better option. Don't offer any details because it's really none of his business. And he needs to know that in no uncertain terms. "yesterday he called me and accused me of being a liar, and a mutual friend has writte
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"They probably just don't have sex." Nelson, sure (he is 91 after all), but if you also mean Wendy and Sheri, then I respectfully disagree. Discreet lesbian sex is tolerated by the church; perhaps not in all cases, but I think bishops will often turn a blind eye to it. http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1453704,1453842#msg-1453842
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What makes this especially hypocritical is that Wendy herself is reported to be bisexual and the lesbian lover of Sheri Dew; one of those open secrets in Utah. http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1642317,1642433#msg-1642433
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In Orwell's "1984," Winston Smith is imprisoned for a time in Oceania's Ministry of Love. During that period, an Inner Party leader named O'Brien asks Smith, "How does one man exert his power over another?" Smith replies, "By making him suffer." Sound familiar? You really can't expect them to voluntarily relinquish their imagined power over you by granting your re
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I suppose the overriding question is, how will resignation impact your marriage? (These questions are for you to think over, not necessarily to post the answers here.) How strong is your marriage, really? Does your husband love you more than he loves the cult? Will your husband suddenly view you differently? Will he "advise" you to withhold your apostate status from the kids, as t
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Your husband has already admitted that the BOM is probably not true, so there's a good chance he will eventually follow you out, even though it may not seem like it at the moment. We each have to travel that road at our own speed. It isn't a race, and at some point he'll likely find himself where you are now. A good next step might be to show him the church essay on the Book of Abraham. The BO
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"Now I find they don't have a custodian. We are supposed to clean the bathrooms." You mean the missionaries didn't mention this little detail? What a surprise! There's a lot you weren't told while you were investigating the church, and you're finding it out now. "I don't understand why the church room is bare and cold." The rooms are bare and cold for the same reaso
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Laney, it's actually worse than that. The church has begun to discourage the watching of PG-13 films. One of the church's top leaders named Lynn Robbins gave a devotional address at BYU on Sept. 17, 2013. Robbins is a genuine slimeball, infamous for preaching that destitute families should pay tithing before rent or food. On this occasion, he said, in part: "In 1986 President Ezra Taft
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Merry Smithmas to all! Just a reminder that today marks the tenth anniversary of the revelation given to Gee Bee Hinckley authorizing construction of the City Creek shopping mall. This revelation was canonized into the Exmo D&C, by sustaining vote of all responders, as Section 140. SECTION 140 Revelation given to President Gordon B. Hinckley, in Salt Lake City, Utah, on December 23, 2
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You've inadvertently been handed a convenient excuse to avoid going, although maybe you don't realize it. It's passive-aggressive, but it will give you some needed practice in standing up for yourself. You're expected to bring a side dish. Here's what you do: Don't prepare one. Do nothing. (If you've already made them, eat them yourself.) Then, you have two ways to play it: (a) At the very
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It was in my patriarchal blessing. Twice. Los Angeles, 1978. "…and that you rather isolate thyself and thy loved ones from the more carnal friendships of the earth… which shall mark thee as a peculiar man…" "Go out of thy way to choose thy close friends from among the more worthy members of the Church, that you may gain from each other's spiritual strength."
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So what do you think was the dumbest thing said or written by JS? The most ridiculous, brain-dead statements ever pulled from his butt or made up as he went along? There are so many to choose from, some well known, others less so. I've compiled a list of my own personal favorites, but couldn't stop at just 10. Feel free to dispute, rearrange, or add others that I've forgotten or left out. 13
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I don't have any useful advice, but your post made me very glad I'm not on Facebook. Had to check back to make sure, but we were in the same mission, and if I had a FB account I could easily have received the same invitation. I left the mission in June 1982, probably around the time you arrived. When I left the MP's office after my exit interview, I recall seeing the new batch of greenies wait
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"My bishop cornered me today… and asked if I had a quick minute. I said sure… he marches me back to his office with his hand on my shoulder… He sat me down" My amateur assessment, which is worth exactly what it costs: You feel violated because you allowed the bishop to assert dominance over you. He was able to act as alpha, with you as clear beta, in full public view. I'll v
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As far as deacons being ordained at 12, "modern" would be after Brigham Young's death. But the fully regimented advancement machine wasn't put into place until 1909. William Hartley, "The Priesthood Reform Movement, 1908-1922," BYU Studies, Vol. 13, No. 2 (Winter 1973), p. 142: "But before appropriate lessons could be written for each quorum, the Committee found
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Once again. I am NOT trying to convince anyone to stay. I was talking to the OP, in the event that he himself decides to stay, because he now supposedly believes in the church. And just how do you profess to know what I knew 30 years ago? When I was out in the field, I did believe a lot of it. Not all, but enough. I believed JS was a prophet and that the First Vision was real. I didn't believe
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"This missionary is not you." Oh, that's brilliant. Obviously I'm not in his mission, with his family, background, etc. Nor was he in mine. Who's to say which of us had it worse? The point was, I've already been where this guy is; I was potentially suicidal, and I know from personal experience that it's possible to make it better. And I had NO support, no one to talk to, not a sympat
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I do feel bad for you. Your BF has put you into a very difficult situation. Apparently he is telling you, and only you, the truth about his mission. Be assured that his letters home read quite differently. Nothing but positive messages about how wonderful it all is. Does he have a missionary blog? I think the "Called to Serve" website can tell you if he does. On the other hand, I don
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"They then began yelling at me about how I was forcing my opinions on people… if I got caught saying ill against the church again, I would be kicked out of the house and disowned." Your parents are hypocrites. They're the ones forcing their opinions and beliefs on you, on pain of exile. Not only that, but according to traditional, orthodox Mormon doctrine, they're actually Satan
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Well, since you asked… Comp was for the most part a stickler for the rules, but was occasionally willing to break them, when it suited him. He liked to go to members' homes and play his songs. It was fine with me, since I'd just go into another room and listen to the radio or watch TV. He was having one of these sing-alongs one particular evening. It had already been a long day and I was
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"The silence is nice. The silence is long." The silent treatment is a blessed relief. Out of sight, out of hearing, out of mind. Relax and enjoy it. It's crucial not to blink in this battle of wills. To do so will validate her approach; in her righteous mind, she wins, you lose, and the idea will forever be fixed that this is how to bring you to heel. You can use this time to t
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Katie, no one on RFM is questioning what happened to you, or suggesting you made it up or lied. Pretty much everyone agrees that your ex-BF is a horse's ass and that you're better off without him. It may be small consolation to you now, but later on in your life, when you're paired up with a much better person, and you don't have the church judging your every action, you'll be very relieved that
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I'll be by myself, but I prefer it that way. Alone: Do whatever you want, eat anything, wear anything (or nothing), get up and go to sleep whenever. No one to complain or judge. With others: Endure inane small talk, pointless blather, dumb politics. Deflect inappropriate questions. Can't wait to get out.
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Well, that's all you need. You can throw his feelings right back in his face. "Dear President Dummkopf, You have proven that what you feel isn't worth a pile of warm scheisse. When you first learned about Bishop Schweinhund, you felt that he was innocent, and that I was lying. Later you were forced to admit his guilt. Clearly, you have no power of discernment, and your feelings are as
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It sounds to me like your SP is aching to bring back the good old days of East Germany. He would have gone far in the Stasi. Was this SP involved at all in your episode with the creepy stalker bishop? If he was, whose side did he take then? How did he try to deal with it? Maybe you could remind him that the Berlin Wall fell way back in 1989, for very good reasons, and that his idol Herr Hon
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What will your folks say if you remind them of their own doctrine, that force and coercion were part of *Satan's* plan in the pre-existence? Your parents are probably old enough to remember a hymn called "Know This, That Every Soul is Free." "Know this, that ev'ry soul is free To choose his life and what he'll be; For this eternal truth is giv'n: That God will force no man
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"JS FUCKED at least two 14 year old girls; Fanny Algar was one and the other one had the last name of Mar, I think Helen Mar. I'm fairly sure they are the 2 14 years olds but I might be remembering wrong. There were two (at least) 14 year olds." You are remembering wrong. All this has been discussed dozens if not hundreds of times on the board. Any search would have brought it up.
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You have a valid point, and I think I see where you're coming from. You're primarily looking at it from the perspective of the nature of the acts, while I’m more focused on the victims' ages. It seems as though you were referring to Helen Kimball among others, and of course 14 is indefensible, but Joe's 1832 near-castration was only about Marinda Johnson, who was 16. Still awful due to the r
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It's a common tendency, I suppose, for Mormons to remember Utah pioneers as a determined band of persecuted castoffs, nobly sacrificing all for the privilege of practicing their religion as they saw fit. TSCC actively encourages this rose-colored retrospection, portraying the plains-crossers from first to last as faithful, pious and heroic, their children singing as they walked and walked and…
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Since DH's parents are such asshats, I doubt that gentle humor will solve the problem. He's going to need to step it up. If he can't bring himself to block them, does he have the intestinal fortitude to rain a torrent of F-bombs on their heads? A few blasts of that should get the harassment to stop.
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